Clan Craziness
by Lunarwing-Hawktalon
Summary: What will happen when Firestar leads his clan to the fair? What will happen when all the clans go swimming? What will happen when all the clans go to Wal-Mart? What will happen when ThunderClan goes to the zoo? What will happen when the crazy Firestar brings back his half-brother from the dead? All insane answers and more crazy Clans inside!
1. ThunderClan at the Fair

**Hey, Hawktalon here. **

**This story is set between Firestar's Quest and Midnight. **

**Hope you like it.**

ThunderClan at the Fair

One day Firestar took his whole clan for a walk. Even the kits and Elders! They were walking towards Twolegplace when they saw a great big wheel.

"Mummy, what is that?" Leafkit asked Sandstorm.

"I don't know," Sandstorm replied.

"It's a giant Twoleg monster! It's going to eat us all," Mousefur shouted.

"YAY! Eat us all!" Random cats said.

"Let's go check it out!" Firestar said.

Firestar and Graystripe lead the Clan towards the Twoleg monster. It was surrounded by colourful tents and lights. When they arrived they were separated. They also forgot about the big wheel.

Somehow all the toms were together.

"What should we do now?" Dustpelt asked.

Cloudtail runs over to spinning ride, "let's go on this."

"No, you can go yourself," Longtail said.

"Anyone else want to come?" Cloudtail asked hopefully.

"I will," said Thornclaw.

The two toms bound towards the ride.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, with the she-cats;<p>

"Now kits, you must behave yourselves," Ferncloud told Squirrelkit and Leafkit.

"COTTON CANDY!" Squirrelkit screamed.

"YAY! COTTON CANDY!" A random bunch of twolegs shouted.

"WHERE?" Leafkit asked.

Squirrelkit jumps into cotton candy machine, "HERE!"

"WAIT FOR ME!" Leafkit yelped.

"WHY ARE WE ALL SPEAKING IN CAPITALS?" Brightheart asked.

"Cause you can," Hawktalon replied.

"You're not meant to be in this story!" Brightheart pointed out.

Hawktalon flies off into the distance.

"I can fly too" some random twoleg said. Then it jumped off a cliff, flapping its 'paws.'

SPLAT!

* * *

><p>Back with the toms;<p>

Cloudtail and Thornclaw stagger off the spinning ride.

"I see pretty stars," Cloudtail stammered and walked into Firestar.

"I'm a little teapot short and stout . . ." Thornclaw sang. He fell over and passed out.

"I told them. I told them, but do they listen? No," Longtail said, looking impressed with himself.

"Where's Cinderpelt when you need her?" Firestar asked looking worried.

BOOM! A weird cat called Lunarwing appears.

"I am a medicine cat. Grab some toffee and a hot dog," Lunarwing said, seeing the fallen cats.

Brambleclaw runs off. He comes back holding toffee and half a hot dog.

"What happened to the other half of the hot dog? Let me guess, it's in your gut," Lunarwing said.

"Are you psychic?" Brambleclaw asked.

"No, I used the force," Lunarwing replied in a mysterious voice.

"Are you one of our warrior ancestors?" Ashfur asked.

"No. I am your future," Lunarwing answered in a spooky voice.

"Now freaky future cat with toffee and half a hot dog, can you leave," Firestar said.

"Fine, I won't help them," Lunarwing said walking off eating the hot dog.

* * *

><p>Back with the she-cats;<p>

"Squirrelkit, get out of the cotton candy!" Sandstorm said.

"YAY! COTTON CANDY!" some random cats said.

"Say that once more and I will claw you," Sandstorm growled.

"I'm pink!" Leafkit squeals.

"WEE," Squirrelkit screams as the machine starts going..

"Get out of there now!" Sandstorm yelped.

Leafkit jumps out and lands on Sandstorm's face.

"AAAHHH!" Squirrelkit cries. The machine is spinning too fast. Squirrelkit flies out and lands on Hawktalon who is still flying.

"What are you doing here?" asked Hawktalon.

"I am Squirrelflight!" Squirrelkit giggles.

"Well it's time to go back to Sandstorm now," Hawktalon said dropping Squirrelkit.

"EEEEEEEE," Squirrelkit squeals. She lands on Firestar.

"Oww Squirrelkit, why are you covered in cotton candy?" Firestar asked.

The toms had just found the she-cats.

"Where are the Elders?" Brackenfur asked.

"Split up and search for clues," Brambleclaw ordered.

"YAY! SEARCH FOR CLUES!" the random bunch of cats (including Ashfur) say.

"Clawing time!" Sandstorm said.

"YAY! CLAWING TIME!" the annoying bunch of random cats say.

Sandstorm leaps at the cats.

The annoying cats disappear and appear in the cotton candy.

Sandstorm looks around growling.

"Settle down, honey," Firestar said.

Annoying bunch of random cats jump out of cotton candy all pink except for Ashfur who was green! "HONEY!"

"HONAY!" Squirrelkit calls out.

"Let's go raid the honey store!" Leafkit decides.

"YAY! RAID HONEY STORE!" The ThunderClan cats say.

"Aren't we supposed to be finding the elders?" Brambleclaw asked.

"No they are too old!" Leafkit says.

"YAY! OLD!" The random bunch of annoying, cotton candy covered cats say.

"That's no way to speak about your elders!" Firestar scolded.

"YAY! SORRY FIRESTAR!" The random bunch of annoying, fairy floss covered, not very sorry cats say.

Firestar bangs his head against a wall.

Cats run off in search of honey, leaving Firestar and Sandstorm behind.

"What monster have I created? My cats are all pink . . ." Firestar said sobbing.

"Ashfur is green," Sandstorm pointed out.

". . . and green and they have gone to raid the honey store," Firestar continued still sobbing.

"Go join in. Have some fun for a change," Sandstorm says.

Firestar brightens up. He runs off in search of the honey store.

'Toms,"Sandstorm mutters.

Firestar stops running and looks up at a store. "NO! IT CAN'T BE. DONUTS!"

The random bunch of annoying, cotton candy covered, not very sorry, freshly coated in honey cats appear behind Firestar. "YAY! DONUTS!"

"Honey donuts," Leafkit suggests.

"YAY! What is a donut?" The random bunch of annoying, cotton candy covered, not very sorry, freshly coated in honey cats say.

"Mine!" Firestar proclaims, standing on the shelf.

"Our leader has gone psycho. He's even foaming at the mouth," Cloudtail realizes.

"That's whipped cream, dear," Brightheart corrected her mate.

"If you're happy and you know it claps your paws!" Firestar sings, dancing around

"Firestar you are on, what Twolegs call, a sugar high," Cinderpelt informs Firestar.

"I am Firebum!" Firestar shouts to the sky.

"YAY! FIREBUM!" The random bunch of annoying, cotton candy covered, not very sorry, freshly coated in honey cats giggle.

"STOP THIS AT ONCE!" Hawktalon yelled over the noise Firestar was making.

All cats stop and look at Hawktalon.

"I hijacked an aeroplane," Hawktalon said cheekily.

"YAY! AEROPLANE!" The random bunch of annoying, cotton candy covered, not very sorry, freshly coated in honey cats say.

"Who will drive?" Asked Sandstorm, the only sensible one around.

"ME!" Leafkit said.

"Okay then. I parked the aeroplane in the clearing beside your camp," Hawktalon told ThunderClan.

"YAY! CLEARING BESIDE OUR CAMP!" The random bunch of annoying, cotton candy covered, not very sorry, freshly coated in honey cats, who happen to be ThunderClan, say.

"Do that again and there will be no aeroplane for you to drive into ShadowClan," Hawktalon warned.

ThunderClan race off back towards the forest. Most were pink, Ashfur was green and Firestar had donuts all over his pelt.

"Now, time to find the Elders," Hawktalon sighed.

"They are at the chips and lollies stall," Hawktalon's best friend Lunarwing said.

Hawktalon and Lunarwing walk to the chips and lollies stall. The Elders had gone psycho. There were chips flying all over the place.

Hawktalon and Lunarwing walked in.

"HAHAHA," laughs Frostfur, throwing a packet of chips at Lunarwing.

"FOOD FIGHT," Dappletail booms, throwing packet of lollies at Hawktalon.

"STOP THIS!" Hawktalon shouts.

All the cats stop and look at Hawktalon.

"I'm not SpiderCat," said Speckletail sadly, after falling off the roof.

"The rest of your clan has left. Leafkit is about to drive an aeroplane into ShadowClan," Hawktalon announced.

"Race you back!" Goldenflower challenged.

"I will win," Dappletail says.

"I will run faster than you," Speckletail argued.

Frostfur starts running off.

"Hey, you got a head start!" Dappletail complained.

The other Elders race off after Frostfur. They were covered in chips and lollies.

"Come on, Hawktalon. Let's go drive an aeroplane into ShadowClan!" Lunarwing says.

Hawktalon and Lunarwing bolt after the Elders.

Just as Lunarwing and Hawktalon reached the clearing beside the camp, Leafkit started up the plane.

"Wait for us!" Hawktalon and Lunarwing shout.

Hawktalon zooms in the door and gets knocked over by Lunarwing who happens to run in at the same time.

"ZOOM!" Leafkit says.

"I'm co-pilot," Squirrelkit announced.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife," Firestar shouts to Leafkit and Squirrelkit.

"GET OUT OF HERE YOU BUM!" Sandstorm cries. She kicked him out of the aeroplane.

The aeroplane flies towards ShadowClan.

"WEE!" squeal the kits.

"THIS IS SO AWESOME!" exclaim the apprentices.

"WEE!" the Elders say, much less enthusiastic.

"POO!" the warriors say stupidly.

"LOOK AT THIS EVERYONE!" Brambleclaw suddenly calls out.

Everyone rushes to Brambleclaw's window. Blackstar was out hunting. He caught a blackbird. Then he started doing the Nutbush.

His deputy, Russetfur, was wearing a Tutu.

"What is it, crazy clan day or something?" Sandstorm mutters.

"ShadowClan camp ahead toms and she-cats," Leafkit informed ThunderClan.

"Get ready to jump!" Squirrelkit warned.

The cats gather around the door.

"JUMP!" Leafkit shouted as the door opened.

The ThunderClan cats jump out of the plane. The plane crashes into the ShadowClan camp.

**BOOM!**

The ThunderClan cats race back to their territory.

They race back to their camp. The camp was covered in pink streamers.

"Merry Christmas!" Firestar greeted them home.

"What have you done?" Brackenfur asked shocked.

"It's Christmas!" Firestar explains slowly.

"It's the middle of Greenleaf. Christmas is in Leaf bare, you dummy," Sandstorm corrected rolling her eyes.

"Oh . . . I'll just go lie down then," Firestar said, suddenly tired.

"Okay, to bed with you all!" Brambleclaw instructed.

"YAY! TO BED!" ThunderClan shout.

* * *

><p>In the middle of the night;<p>

"Happy lama, sad lama, mentally retarded lama, super lama, drama lama, big fat mama lama," Firestar sings really loud, on top of Highrock .

"Moose, potato, moose, moose, potato, moose, potato, moose moose, potato, moose POTATO!" ThunderClan reply.

"SHUT UP THUNDERCLAN!" RiverClan shout angrily.

"Well, some of us are having karaoke night," Firestar replies, equally as loud.

"Karaoke . . ." RiverClan's leader, Leopardstar, says.

"Singing," Firestar informed.

"There was a bear," Leopardstar starts.

"A great big bear," RiverClan reply.

"SHUT UP RIVERCLAN AND THUNDERCLAN!" WindClan's leader, Tallstar, booms.

"We're having karaoke night," Firestar explained.

"Found a peanut," Tallstar sings to WindClan.

"Found a peanut just now," WindClan reply.

"I could use a peanut in this poultice," WindClan's medicine cat, Barkface, says.

"Shut up ThunderClan, RiverClan and WindClan!" ShadowClan's leader Blackstar yells.

"Karaoke night!" ThunderClan, RiverClan and WindClan bellow back.

ShadowClan starts playing Techno music.

ThunderClan continues singing the lama song.

RiverClan. continues singing there was a bear.

WindClan continues singing found a peanut.

And that was a day with ThunderClan.

**Hawktalon again.**

**So did you like it? Review please**


	2. Where all the water went from the river

**Hawktalon here,**

**Ok, so I was bored one day with Lunarwing and we wrote all these stories. I'll only publish a few. But I hope you enjoy them.**

Where all the water went from the river

The next morning in ThunderClan;

Hawktalon and Lunarwing had stayed the night.

"Would you like to join ThunderClan?" Firestar asked.

"We would but we are from another time," Hawktalon replied.

"We are leaving for the future today," Lunarwing added.

"We will miss you," Sandstorm said.

"Thanks for the aeroplane," Leafkit mewed shyly.

Hawktalon and Lunarwing said good bye and walked out of the camp.

All the Clan cats were sitting around tired, dirty and covered in cotton candy. An idea popped into Firestar's head.

"Who wants to go to the river?" Firestar asked.

All the cats jumped up and raced out of the camp.

"Let's go!" Squirrelkit yelped.

ThunderClan raced down to the river. They forgot about the steep hill leading down to it. They all rolled down the hill and fell into the river.

The water turned pink and green from all the cotton candy.

"Watch this!" Ashfur shouts bombing into the river.

ThunderClan cheer.

"Watch this!" Tigerstar yells, jumping into the river, wetting every tree in the forest.

"Get out of here Tigerkit," Firestar ordered.

"Hey, I can have fun too. Isn't that right, Firebum?" Tigerstar replied with a smile.

"Hey you would have done that too if you had eaten that many donuts," Firestar pointed out.

Stormfur, Feathertail and Hawkfrost came to the river.

"What in the name of StarClan are you doing?" Stormfur asked, looking shocked at ThunderClan cats swimming in the river.

"Swimming," Firestar says.

"Drowning," Squirrelkit splutters.

Sandstorm hits Squirrelkit, "don't say that."

"Come join us," Brackenfur invited.

"Sure," Feathertail says, and then whispers something to her brother, Stormfur.

Stormfur runs off into the undergrowth.

Feathertail runs over to Hawkfrost and pushes him in the river.

"I hate getting wet," Hawkfrost exclaims, shaking water from his pelt.

Feathertail gracefully dives in the river.

"Hey, what is Stormfur doing? Going to WindClan," Hawkfrost asked.

"Probably," Firestar said.

Leopardstar comes out of the trees, followed by her whole clan.

"That was a good idea, Feathertail," Sandstorm acknowledged.

"1, 2, 3 CANNONBALL!" Leopardstar shouted.

All of RiverClan jump in the river at once.

"LOOK!" Brambleclaw shouted.

All the cats looked. Tallstar was running down the moor followed by his whole clan.

They kept running and jumped straight into the river.

Stormfur was running towards ShadowClan territory.

"Hello Tallstar," Firestar greeted.

"It was a lovely idea to go swimming on a hot day like today," Tallstar commented.

"You sound like an elder," Leopardstar joked.

"HEY. That is not how you talk about your elders," Dappletail shouts.

"That is no way to speak to a clan leader," Firestar shouts back.

"INCOMING!" Stormfur calls out, jumping into river, closely followed by ShadowClan.

ShadowClan ran down the hill and jumped in the river.

"Firestar, what was with the aeroplane yesterday?" Blackstar asked.

"Oh um . . . We were given it," Firestar stammered.

Then Firestar had a silly thought.

Firestar climbed out of river, "ThunderClan, come here."

Firestar waited until ThunderClan had climbed out of the river and walked further into the trees.

"We are all going to climb trees and jump in the river!" Firestar announced.

"I can't really climb and I don't think the Elders can either," Cinderpelt said.

"Cinderpelt, you and the elders can go soak in the river if you'd like," Firestar suggested.

Cinderpelt leads the elders back to the river.

"Let's go!" Brambleclaw cries.

There were three trees close to the river. ThunderClan climbed them.

"3, 2, 1, BELLYFLOP!" Firestar ordered.

All the ThunderClan cats bombed into the river. Firestar was the only one who bellyflopped. The wave carried half the clans down the beach.

"Hey guys. I brought some friends to join you!" Spottedleaf told Firestar.

Millions of sparkling cats stepped out of the trees.

Tigerstar appears on the opposite side of the river, "I also brought some friends."

Heaps of dark looking cats stepped out of the undergrowth.

Spottedleaf and Tigerstar shout both at the same time, "CANNONBALL!"

All the StarClan and Dark Forest cats jumped in the river at the same time.

"MUMMY! HELP US!" The clan cats exclaim in horror.

"That's too many cats!" Firestar pointed out.

The river flies into the air with all the clan cats still in it. It separates. The cats magically fly back to their camps.

The clan cats run back to the river. It was gone.

"LOOK!" Squirrelkit points, looking up.

The river was hovering. All the StarClan and Dark Forest cats were playing in it.

"The weird cats stole our river!" Leafkit accused.

"Hey, we're only borrowing it," Bluestar informed.

"Yeah well, give it back," Leopardstar ordered.

"Okay then," Lionheart said.

The river came slamming back to Earth.

"YAY! The river is back!" Squirrelkit squeals, dancing around the beach.

"Thanks, weird cats," Leafkit said, dancing around the beach with Squirrelkit.

"It's ok," Bluestar said, smiling at the two dancing kits.

"Enjoy your river," Lionheart said, also smiling at the dancing kits.

The Clan cats played in the river until midafternoon. The cats started getting out.

"Any cat can use Sunningrocks to dry off if they would like to," Firestar announced.

So the cats lay on Sunningrocks until the sun went down.

"Come on ShadowClan. We are going now," Blackstar said, reluctant to leave Sunningrocks.

"Are we going to work on repairing the aeroplane to crash into ThunderClan?" Applekit asked her mother, Tallpoppy.

"Applekit, Firestar heard that," Tallpoppy scolded.

After that, ShadowClan left quickly.

"WindClan is leaving now. Thank you for letting us use Sunningrocks," Tallstar said.

"It's our pleasure," Firestar said.

WindClan left.

"Firestar, you are one cool Clan leader," Leopardstar calls out, as she leads RiverClan home.

"Thanks," Firestar said, his pelt warming in the evening sun.

RiverClan used the stepping stones so they didn't get wet again.

"Could every cat take a piece of prey back to camp," Graystripe asked.

**Hawktalon again,**

**So did you like it? Tell me what you think! **

**I'm open to suggestions for more silly stories.**


	3. Why Clan cats shouldn't go to WalMart

**Hawktalon here,**

**This is one of our shorter stories, so ENJOY! :)**

Why clan cats shouldn't go to Wal-Mart

One day all of the clans decided to into the Twolegplace, even the kits and Elders.

When they got there was a huge shop. They decided to have a look. When they walked in they saw so many things such as clothes, and lollies and chips which they kept the elders away from.

Suddenly, they heard a sound. A Twoleg walked out the door and shut it and it used an oddly shaped thing. It walked away.

ShadowClan started to bash on the door. They couldn't get out

"It won't open!" Blackstar yelped, clearly getting irritated.

Suddenly every cat turned to see the kits turn on something. Something that only ThunderClan knew what it was. Something that is . . .

"**COTTON CANDY!**" Squirrelkit cries.

"Look Cinderpelt, Operation. Will you play with me?" Leafkit asked.

"Okay," Cinderpelt said, crouching down awkwardly to play with Leafkit.

"**DONUTS!**" Firestar screams. Dramatic music is playing in the background.

Firestar jumps into the donut packets and rips them open. He starts eating them.

"**NOOOOOOO!"** Sandstorm cries.

Blackstar jumps on a stack of DVD's and starts pushing them down. He finds a Star Wars movie. He runs around to find a TV and a DVD player so he can watch it.

Soon all the ShadowClan cats are watching Star Wars.

"I am Darth Blackstar," Blackstar announced.

"Hail Darth Blackstar," say the ShadowClan cats.

* * *

><p><span>Meanwhile;<span>

The ThunderClan cats had moved to the food court.

"Mummy, I'm hungry," Squirrelkit complained.

"Go get something to eat," Sandstorm suggested.

"Come on Leafkit," Sqirrelkit say.

Squirrelkit and Leafkit run off. They come back pushing a trolley full of tacos.

"**TACOS!**" Brackenfur shouts.

All the ThunderClan cats rush over to the trolley.

"Hey! They are our tacos," Squirrelkit argued.

"Go get your own!" Leafkit ordered.

The cats look at one another. They race off and come back with trolleys full of food.

Sorrelpaw, Rainpaw and Sootpaw had a trolley full of chocolate.

All the ThunderClan cats came running back with trolleys full of tacos. For some reason, Ashfur's tacos were green.

"That is way too much food for you all," Sandstorm, the only sane one, points out.

"**DONUTS!**" Firestar comes running with a trolley full to the brim with donuts.

* * *

><p><span>Meanwhile, with the RiverClan cats;<span>

"We could use this in the river," Feathertail said, looking at an inflatable raft.

"Do you know how many cats it would take to fill that," Stormfur pointed out.

"You fill it with air, idiot," Hawkfrost informed, rolling his eyes.

"Oh . . . okay then," Stormfur mumbled.

"Ooh," Mosspelt said, looking at some balls.

"Look out Mosspelt," Leopardstar warns.

"What . . . AHH," Mosspelt exclaims as balls fall on her.

"MOSSPELT! ARE YOU OKAY?" Mistyfoot cries.

"I like peanut butter cups" Mosspelt stammers, falling over.

"Peanut butter cups?" Leopardstar asked.

"Cups filled with peanut butter?" Stormfur suggested.

"Aha," Feathertail exclaims, finding peanut butter cups.

"Peanut butter covered in chocolate," Mosspelt told Leopardstar.

"GIMME!" Leopardstar lunges for Feathertail and the peanut butter cups.

"Say please," Feathertail snatches away the peanut butter cups.

"PLEASE!" Leopardstar beggs.

"Ok," Feathertail gives peanut butter cups to Leopardstar.

"**HAHAHA, ALL MINES!**" Leopardstar bellowed.

* * *

><p><span>Now to WindClan;<span>

WindClan had moved to the clothes section in the shop.

"I like so love this shirt," Tallstar said, holding up a pink pony shirt.

"That is a she-cat shirt," Onewhisker mewed awkwardly.

"Oh . . . how about this one?" Tallstar asks, holding up another pony shirt.

"Why don't we go check out the toms clothing," Onewhisker suggests.

Tallstar followed Onewhisker to the tom clothing section.

"How about this one?" Tallstar asks, holding up a Barbie doll.

"Uhm . . . Tallstar, that is a Barbie Doll," Onewhisker said.

"Tallstar, I need to have a look at you," Barkface says.

Barkface looks Tallstar in the eye.

"OH NO! He's been drinking soft drink!" Barkface exclaimed.

"What is soft drink?" Webfoot asked.

"You drink it and it will send you stupid. For example, like Tallstar," Barkface said.

"Come on guys. Let's go find the soft drink," Webfoot called out to the rest of WindClan.

"It's in the food court, at a shop called McDonald's," Tallstar said.

"Why did you tell them that? Do you want them to go hyper?" Barkface asked.

Tallstar nods his head really fast.

"Well off you go," Barkface told Tallstar.

Tallstar bolts in the direction of food court.

"Bad choice of words," Barkface muttered.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile;<p>

ShadowClan had watched all six of the Star Wars movies.

"Luke Tawnypelt, I am your father," Blackstar said, standing on top of shelf dressed as Darth Vader.

"You idiot, Tigerstar is my father," Tawnypelt said, hanging off shelf with 'Darth Blackstar' standing above her.

"Oh . . ." Blackstar stammered.

* * *

><p>At the food court;<p>

"I LOVE DONUTS," says Firestar after eating the whole trolley of donuts.

"How can you eat that much?" Sandstorm asked.

"Hey, WindClan is at McDonald's!" Squirrelkit announced.

"Let's go see what they are doing," Leafkit suggests.

Squirrelkit and Leafkit rush off to McDonald's. The rest of ThunderClan follows.

"Hey, what are you doing?" Squirrelkit asked.

"**SOFT DRINK!**" Tallstar shouted.

The whole of WindClan was jumping around like they were on 'sugar rushes'.

"Donuts are heaps better!" Firestar stated.

"**SOFT DRINK!**" Tallstar argued.

"**DONUTS!**" Firestar bellowed.

"**SOFT DRINK!**" Tallstar boomed back.

"**DONUTS!**" Firestar shouted back.

"**PEANUT BUTTER CUPS!**" Leopardstar runs to food court.

"**SOFT DRINK!**" Tallstar continued.

"**DONUTS!**" Firestar yelled.

"**PEANUT BUTTER CUPS!**" Leopardstar yelped.

"**STAR WARS!**" Blackstar runs to food court, still wearing darth vader costume

"You can't eat Star Wars," Firestar points out.

"Well, I can," Blackstar argued, grabbing a Star Wars DVD and eating it.

* * *

><p><span>Later on;<span>

All the cats were asleep in the clothes section. They had pulled the clothes off the shelves and lay on them.

Suddenly, the door opened and a Twoleg stepped in.

"What happened?" asked the Twoleg

"Charge Wal-MartClan!" Firestar said.

The clan cats charge at the Twoleg and run out the door. They run back to the forest.

"FIRESTAR!" Sandstorm shouts, looking back and seeing Firestar with another trolley full of donuts.

ThunderClan ran back to their camp. Firestar came back in without the trolley.

"Where is it?" Sandstorm asked suspiciously.

"Where is what?" Firestar asked innocently.

Sandstorm rolls her eyes.

"**GO TO BED**!" Graystripe ordered ThunderClan.

"Who died and made you deputy?" Brambleclaw asked.

"I am deputy," Graystripe said.

"Oh . . . I knew that," Brambleclaw muttered.


	4. ThunderClan at the Zoo

**Hawktalon here,**

**I think some of you have been noticing how it is always me. Well this is a shared account and Lunarwing hasn't got a working computer at her house.**

**So I do all the publishing :)**

ThunderClan at the Zoo

One day Firestar was leading the dawn patrol when he came to a clearing. Something wasn't right.

"What is that aeroplane doing there?" Graystripe asked.

"Oh," Firestar said, only just noticing the aeroplane.

"I bags telling the Clan," Dustpelt says running off.

Soon, Dustpelt returns, followed by the whole clan.

"I'm driving," Leafkit announces.

"I'm co-pilot.," Squirrelkit says.

"I now pro-" Firestar begins.

"Do you _want_ to be kicked off again?" Sandstorm asks, glaring at Firestar.

"No," Firestar answered.

"Good," Sandstorm mewed.

All the cats climb aboard the aeroplane. Leafkit drives it towards Twolegplace.

"Hey, look at that," Brackenfur calls out.

All the cats rush to Brackenfur's window, tipping the aeroplane to one side.

There was a big Twoleg nest with animals in things Twolegs called 'cages'.

"We're going there!" Leafkit announces, landing plane in middle of Thundepath.

Firestar jumps out of aeroplane with the Clan following.

ThunderClan run in the door. The Twolegs don't notice them.

Once again the cats were separated. Once again all the toms were together, all the she-cats were together and the elders were together.

"**COTTON CANDY!**" Squirrelkit squeals, about to jump on it.

"NO SQUIRRELKIT! THAT IS NOT COTTON CANDY!" Sandstorm cries.

"Then what is it?" Squirrelkit asked.

"That is a sheep," Leafkit replied.

"What is a sheep? Does it taste like cotton candy?" Squirrelkit asked.

"I don't know," Leafkit tells Squirrelkit.

"I'm going to find out," Squirrelkit jumps onto sheep, gets lost in fur and bites 'fur'.

"Squirrelkit that could be poisonous!" Sandstorm warned.

"Ewww it taste yucky," Squirrelkit spits.

"It is an animal. Would you eat Firestar?" Brightheart asked stupidly.

"YES! Wait, does he taste like cotton candy too?" Squirrelkit giggled.

Sandstorm rolls her eyes.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile with the seemingly normal toms;<p>

"Let's go this way," Brackenfur suggested.

"As deputy I say we go that way," Brambleclaw said, pointing in opposite direction.

"YOU'RE NOT DEPUTY YET!" Graystripe bellowed.

"Oh . . ." Brambleclaw said.

"What on earth is that? Firestar asked, looking up at an elephant, "Ashfur, is that you?"

"WHAT?" Ashfur said, offended.

"Firestar that is an elephant," Lunarwing said, appearing out of nowhere.

"Can you ride elephants?" Firestar asked.

"Umm . . . sure," Lunarwing told Firestar.

Firestar leaps on top of elephant, "GO!" The elephant runs away with Firestar clinging on for dear life.

"Go find different animals to ride," Lunarwing instructed.

The toms scurry off.

* * *

><p>With the elders;<p>

"Where did the rest of the Clan go?" Frostfur wondered.

"Who cares, I found a tiger," Goldenflower exclaims.

"That is my tiger," Tigerstar stated.

"NO, it is my tiger," Goldenflower exclaims.

"I _am_ a tiger," Tigerstar argued.

"No, you are a cat," Goldenflower sighs.

"Yeah I want a tiger too," Dappletail says.

"Yeah me too," Speckletail agreed.

"Fine, you can all have tigers," Tigerstar growled in annoyance.

"Can I have a pink one?" asked Frostfur.

"Tigers aren't pink, they are blue," Dappletail argued.

"Here are your tigers," Tigerstar said, as the tigers appeared. "Now I remember why I hate elders."

"That's no way to treat your Elders," Speckletail said.

"Oh well . . . umm bye," Tigerstar stammered, as he disappeared.

The Elders ride off on their tigers. Goldenflower got a golden tiger, Speckletail got a orange one, Frostfur had a pink one and Dappletail had a blue one.

* * *

><p>With the she-cats;<p>

The she-cats had finally gotten Squirrelkit off the sheep.

"Ok so, the toms are off finding animals to ride. You'd better find some good ones before the toms get them all," Hawktalon says scrambling out of nearby tree.

"Hi Hawktalon," Sandstorm greeted.

"Let's go find animals to ride," Brightheart deccided.

She-cats run off.

Squirrelkit runs off with Leafkit.

"What about this one," Leafkit looking at a zebra.

"You get the black and white one and I'll get the white and black one," Squirrelkit decided.

"They are the same thing, dummy," Leafkit points out.

"Oh yeah. I knew that," Squirrelkit said, embarrassed.

* * *

><p>With the toms;<p>

"I love this giraffe," Brambleclaw exclaims, standing on giraffe's head.

"AAHHHH!" Cloudtail screams, while on charging rhinoceros.

"WEE!" Ashfur shouts, riding green moose.

"Get a move on you #&$%!" Thornclaw swore, riding tortoise

"HAHAHA, can't get me now can you, you stupid animal," Brackenfur teases, sitting on beaver.

"Come back here," Dustpelt panted, chasing after a panda.

"Hey, where is Firestar?" Graystripe asked, while riding a whale.

"**DONUTS!**" Firestar bellows, on elephant, at food court.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile;<p>

"OH YEAH!" Brightheart calls out, riding leopard. "Take that Leopardstar!

"Do I really have to do this?" Ferncloud asked nervously, about to leap onto black panther.

"Let's go!" Mousefur announces, riding a cheetah.

"Now I know how Firestar feels," said Sandstorm, who was on a male lion.

The she-cats ride their big cats towards the toms. They knew exactly where they were from the amount of noise they were making.

* * *

><p>Elsewhere;<p>

"Come on Leafkit," Squirrelkit called back.

"It's not my problem this zebra is fat," Leafkit complained.

"Leave it there. Get a new one," Squirrelkit sugggested.

Leafkit jumps off zebra, runs off and comes back on another one.

"Let's go. I can hear the toms," Leafkit ran beside Squirrelkit.

Soon Squirrelkit and Leafkit found the she-cats riding big cats.

They all ran/galloped off to the toms. Soon they were there.

"Let's go raid ShadowClan with these animals," Firestar decided.

"YES!" ThunderClan replied.

"Back to the plane," ordered Leafkit.

ThunderClan rode their strange assortment of animals back to the aeroplane. Graystripe had to leave his whale behind due to size, instead he got a

They squeezed in all the animals, even the giraffe! There was plenty of room for the cats too.

"I'm driving," Squirrelkit decided.

"I'm co-pilot," Leafkit announced.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife," Firestar proclaims.

"GET OUT OF HERE YOU IDIOT!" Sandstorm rages, kicking Firestar out of plane again.

"WAIT!" Firestar begged.

"What now?" Sandstorm asked impatiently.

"Can I have my elephant? Please?" Firestar asked.

"You can come back on if you promise never to say that again," Sandstorm said.

"I promise," Firestar said, with paws crossed.

"Ok come on," Sandstorm said.

Firestar climbs back in aeroplane.

Squirrelkit flies the aeroplane back to the forest.

"Watch this," Squirrelkit says to Leafkit.

The plane turns around and flies backwards.

"How did you do that?" Leafkit asked, shocked.

Squirrelkit points at button that says reverse.

Once the cats had reached the forest, Squirrelkit landed the aeroplane in the clearing beside their camp.

All the animals got off first.

Each cat jumped on their animal and galloped, leaped and ran off towards ShadowClan.

"HAHAHA!" Firestar laughed, riding his elephant.

"TRAMPLE!" Graystripe orders.

All the ThunderClan cats ran into the ShadowClan camp and trampled their camp.

It was chaos. Fresh kill was everywhere. Cats were fleeing. Ashfur's green moose was staining the camp with green food colouring.

"EVERYBODY STOP!" Hawktalon shouted, riding a purple dragon with Lunarwing.

All cats stop and look up at Hawktalon.

"ThunderClan get out of here. ShadowClan rebuild your camp," Hawktalon instructs.

"No we're just going to sit around in the open unprotected," Blackstar said sarcastically.

"But then TigerClan will eat us," Applekit worried.

"We _were_ TigerClan, mouse brain," Toadkit said, hitting Applekit with his tail.

ThunderClan rides the animals back to their camp. Hawktalon and Lunarwing landed their dragon on the aeroplane, crushing it.

They walked into the camp to find it overrun by animals. All the cats were hiding in Firestar's den, in the nursery or under Highrock.

"STOP NOW!" Lunarwing said.

All the animals stop and look at Lunarwing and Hawktalon.

"Go away," Hawktalon commanded.

The animals run out of camp.

"NOOOOO! That elephant has my donuts!" Firestar cries.

"YES! NO MORE DONUTS FOR FIRESTAR!" ThunderClan cheer.

"But, but, but . . . DONUTS!" Firestar bursts into tears and hides in den crying.

Sandstorm goes to comfort Firestar.

"TRICKED YOUS ALL!" Firestar yelled really loud.

"Yous isn't a word," Cloudtail pointed out.

"It is now," Squirrelkit decided.

"Thankyou Squirrelkit," Firestar said, walking out of his den with Sandstorm at his side.

"Firestar, it's not cool to be backed up by a kit," Thornclaw informed.

Squirrelkit and Leafkit tackle Thornclaw.

"To bed with yous all!" Brambleclaw shouted.

"**YOU AREN'T DEPUTY YET YOU MOUSE BRAIN**!" Graystripe bellowed.

Brambleclaw slinks off to bed.

"To bed with yous all!" Graystripe repeated.


	5. Psychotic Leader Caging, Phase 1

One day in the mighty ThunderClan;

"Firestar," Graystripe bellowed, running into Firestar's den.

"What?" Firestar asked, leaping to his feet.

"The dirt place is stinky," Graystripe said. Firestar flopped back into his nest.

"Graystripe, it is always stinky," Firestar pointed out.

"Oh," Graystripe stammered, "I'll just go get some McDonalds then."

Graystripe walked off.

"_Everyone needs a friend like him,"_ Firestar thought, "_loyal but also a little on the dumb side."_

"Hey, I heard that," Graystripe shouted.

"Go get your McDonalds," Firestar screamed.

"Wanna come with me?" Graystripe asked playfully.

"Ok," Firestar said, brightening up.

"Firestar, who is in charge of the camp while you're gone?" Sandstorm asked.

"Squirrelkit," Graystripe whispered in Firestar's ear.

"Sandstorm," Firestar decided and bolted towards Fourtrees with Graystripe.

"Graystripe, what is McDonalds?" Firestar asked.

Graystripe looked at him like he had grown an extra head. Graystripe suddenly burst into song.

_Oooohhhh, McDonalds, McDonalds,_

_Beautiful, beautiful McDonalds_

_Grab a burger_

_Grab some chips _

_Whatever you grab will give you zits_

Firestar looked at Graystripe like he had jumped in a monster truck and flattened the whole forest.

"The song came with the latest happy meal," Graystripe said defensively.

"Awesome!" Firestar shouted.

Firestar and Graystripe continued singing all the way to Fourtrees.

_Grab a sundae,_

_Grab a drink,_

_Whatever you grab will make you pink!_

After a while Firestar and Graystripe reached Fourtrees. There was a small cart that smelt like fresh kill and had 'McDonalds' printed on the side.

Graystripe leapt on the counter and the Twoleg in it said "_Hello there kitty." _Graystripe purred.

The Twoleg gave him a box which said 'McDonalds Happy Meal.'

Graystripe grabbed the box and ran away.

Firestar did what Graystripe had done and jumped onto the counter. The Twoleg saw him and gave him a box even bigger than Graystripe's.

Firestar grabbed the box in his teeth and bolted after Graystripe. He found Graystripe tearing into the box.

"It's so good," Graystripe mumbled between mouthfuls.

"So is this trampoline," Firestar said jumping happily on his trampoline, which he pulled out of his 'happy meal.'

"Ooooh, can I have a go?" Graystripe asked.

"No. What did you get in yours?" Firestar asked.

"Only this lame camping set," Graystripe said sadly, pulling out a tent, a gazebo and a table.

"Ok," Firestar said, moving over to let Graystripe on his trampoline.

Firestar and Graystripe jump on the trampoline until Graystripe throws up all over it. Firestar grabs his 'happy meal' and pulls out a cup of cold stuff labelled 'Chocolate Sundae'.

He licks some up. "OH MY GOSH!" Firestar screamed so loudly Squirrelkit woke up. "THIS IS BEAUTIFUL STUFF!"

"What is it Firestar?" Graystripe asked, still jumping on the vomit covered trampoline.

"Sundi," Firestar said.

"Umm, Firestar, I think it's called a Sundae," Graystripe corrected.

"NO, IT IS A SUNDI," Firestar argues.

"Sundae, Sundae, Sundae," Graystripe sings, while jumping on the vomit coated trampoline.

"SUNDI," Firestar bellows, throwing the rest of his sundae at Graystripe. It hit Graystripe 'down there' and Graystripe slipped off the vomit covered trampoline.

"How have you got a mate?" Firestar wondered. "Let alone two."

Graystripe walks up wearing sundae protective gear, and smears the sundae on Firestar's face. "How did you get a mate, beardy?" he teased.

"Well Sandstorm kidnapped me . . ." Firestar began.

"Wha . . ." Graystripe interrupted.

"Then the next day she tells me she is having kits," Firestar continued ignoring Graystripe.

Graystripe's eyes widen until they cover his whole head. "She _only_ kidnapped you," he asked. "WAIT, DON'T ANSWER THAT!"

"Well she also . . ." Firestar began again.

Graystripe ran over to his 'happy meal' and shoved chicken nuggets in his ears. "That's much better," he said.

Firestar runs over. "Hey Graystripe, want to play leap frog."

"No, I don't want to play Heave-a-log," Graystripe shouts.

"What about . . . OOH CHICKEN NUGGETS," Firestar said, noticing Graystripe's chicken nugget earmuffs.

He bounded over and started eating them. "They taste so good."

A patrol of ThunderClan cats (including Squirrelkit and Leafkit) walk into the clearing. The McDonald's van vanishes. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Sandstorm bellowed.

"They taste so good," Firestar repeats, not seeing the patrol.

"Why is Daddy eating Graystripe's earwax?" Squirrelkit asked.

"It must be the donuts," Sandstorm replies.

Firestar looks up, "DONUTS!"

"TAKE COVER! BRAMBLECLAW GET THE NET!" Sandstorm ordered.

"Who died and made you Clan leader?" Brambleclaw muttered, walking off.

"Firestar's sanity," Sandstorm replied, with a straight face.

"DONUTS!" Firestar sings, having appeared on the vomit covered trampoline.

"How did he get there so fast?" Thornclaw asked.

"I'm not there," Firestar said, still eating the chicken nuggets out of Graystripe's ears.

"But you are," the Firestar on the trampoline said.

"Is that me?" eating-chicken-nuggets-Firestar says.

"Haven't you ever looked at your reflection in the water?" Jumping-on-trampoline-Firestar asks.

"Yes, I' a Lion," eating-Graystripe's-ear-wax-Firestar says, looking smug

"No that was a vision from StarClan," seemingly-normal-trampoline-Firestar informed.

"STARCLAN SENT ME A VISION," stupid-Firestar asks.

"Yes we did," Spottedleaf says, handing Firestar (who has now finished the chicken nuggets) an envelope saying 'StarClan vision'.

"Thanks Spottedleaf," Firestar says, taking the envelope from Spottedleaf. He opens it and reads the letter inside. "GREAT STARCLAN! I NEED TO LEAD LIONCLAN INTO BATTLE AGAINST SCOURGE!" Firestar realized.

"You've already done that," Sandstorm said boringly, as if Firestar did that every day.

"I have?" Firestar asked.

"And he calls me stupid," Graystripe said, washing out his ears.

"Yes I do," Firestar said.

"You can't even remember half your life!" Sandstorm shouted. "You have been eating Graystripe's earwax, jumping on a vomit covered trampoline with an ice cream beard. What did I ever see in you?"

"I don't know but it caused you to ra . . ." Firestar began to answer.

"NO! DON'T SAY THAT WORD!" Sandstorm bellowed.

"What word?" Graystripe asked. "OH STARCLAN! So it is true. You did."

"I GOT THE NET," Brambleclaw calls, running with the net in his mouth.

"Good timing," Sandstorm acknowledged.

"Psychotic leader caging, Phase 1, locate leader, is under way," Squirrelkit said in her secret agent voice.

Leafkit looks at her, face worried. "You're as bad as Dad," she says.

"My sister says I am almost Dad," Squirrelkit says, still in her secret agent voice.

"If Squirrelkit gets a weird voice can't I have one?" Graystripe asked.

"Ok you can be French," Firestar said.

"I am now French," Graystripe said, growing a moustache and speaking in his new French accent.

"How is that even possible on a cat?" Sandstorm asked.

"I don't know but I love my new moustache," Graystripe says. "Who wants a croissant?"

"I DO!" the ThunderClan patrol calls.

"ENOUGH OF THIS," StarClan cries. "As Firestar just made Graystripe French, he made another cat die."

"Die? How?" Squirrelkit asked.

"From loss of croissant," StarClan replied.

"Back to your camp until you regain your sanity," StarClan ordered. "We will feed you but we will also lock the gate leading to your camp."

"We have a gate?" Graystripe asked. The ThunderClan cats look at Firestar.

"I was bored, ok?" Firestar explained.

"CAMP. NOW." StarClan instruct.

All the ThunderClan cats run back to camp. "DISCO!" Firestar proclaims. A disco ball appears, hanging off a tree.

"Hey Brambleclaw," Squirrelkit says.

"Umm, Hi Squirrelkit," Brambleclaw replied.

"You one sexy tom cat," Squirrelkit says.

"Ok," Brambleclaw says, walking off awkwardly.


	6. Psychotic Leader Caging, Phase 2

**Hawktalon here,**

**zeista240: I have the next chapter so I'll do your idea in the following chapter. It's a great idea though. **

**ENJOY or I'll get Firestar on you :)**

* * *

><p>Another day in ThunderClan;<p>

"Morning, ThunderClan," Firestar called from the top of Highrock.

"Has StarClan opened the gate yet?" Thornclaw sighed.

"Let's ask them," Squirrelkit suggested.

"We are, kind of, stuck in camp," Leafkit pointed out.

"It is open," a strange and powerful voice said.

"YAY! It's open," Squirrelkit shouts.

"Everyone out," Firestar commanded. The camp had gotten disgusting. Firestar had made a gate to the dirt place . . .

All of ThunderClan filed out through the thorn barrier. Ashfur got squished into the thorns and was stuck. All the cats laughed at him and kept rushing out.

"Where should we go?" Graystripe asked.

"Follow me," Firestar leads his Clan to Sunningrocks. "Lie on Sunningrocks for the morning."

"They're really hot," one cat complained.

"Just like you," another cat said.

"Hey Sandstorm," Firestar said, walking over to her.

"Hey Firestar," Sandstorm replied, sighing.

"Wanna have more kits?" Firestar asked, a gleam in his strangely purple eyeballs.

"SHUT YOUR PIE HOLE!"

"Pie?"

"YES PIE!"

"She cats," Firestar muttered.

Sandstorm looks at her paws, which had grown stupidly huge during that conversation.

"OH STARCLAN! I MATED WITH BIGFOOT!" Firestar screams, running to ShadowClan.

"BLACKSTAR, HELP!" Firestar begs.

"Why should I?" Blackstar asked. "You did crash an aeroplane into ShadowClan and trample our camp with your monsters."

"BECAUSE MY MATE IS BIGFOOT!" Firestar screamed in horror.

"GET OFF OUR TERRITORY!" Blackstar bellowed.

"Ok I will get off your lawn, old man," Firestar replied cheekily.

"Who are you calling old man, old man," Blackstar replied.

"ME," Tallstar screams like a little girl, skipping into ShadowClan.

Firestar and Blackstar turn and look at Tallstar. "GREAT STARCLAN!" Firestar and Blackstar shouted at the same time, so loud it could be heard in China.

Tallstar was skipping down the hill with his pink dress flowing behind him, a basket in hand and whistling a merry tune.

"What is this, old man meet?" Leopardstar asked. "Well here I am."

"I thought you were a she cat," Blackstar pointed out.

"I am," Leopardstar replied.

"THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE?" Blackstar bellowed.

"Because it is Clan leader meeting," Leopardstar replied slowly.

"Why does it have to be in ShadowClan?" Blackstar complained.

"Where else should it be?" Firestar asked.

"Maybe, Fourtrees," Blackstar suggested.

"No, what about Fourtrees," Tallstar suggested.

"Yeah Tallstar, Fourtrees is a great idea," Firestar agreed.

"Off we go then," Leopardstar said.

Blackstar and Leopardstar walked to Fourtrees. Tallstar skipped and Firestar moon-walked.

Once they arrived at Fourtrees, the four leaders leapt up Greatrock, well Tallstar skipped.

"Now I call this Gathering to order," Firestar said, banging his paw on the Greatrock. A ray of sunlight came shining through the trees and lit Firestar's pelt on fire.

Squirrels, mice and birds all came rushing to the clearing. "Now Mr Squirrel Pants was tragically hunted down this morning," Firestar, leader of SquirrelClan, reported. "But Mrs Squirrel Pants had her kits, Little Squirrel Pants, Jr Squirrel Pants and Mr Jr Squirrel Pants."

"Also we made a new warrior, Squirrelbum step forward," Firestar continued. The whole Gathering burst out laughing at the new warrior's name. "It's not funny," Squirrelbum screamed.

"That is all," Firestar said calmly. "BLACKSTAR GET YOUR TAIL OVER HERE!"

Blackstar turned around and waved his tail in Firestar's face. Firestar growled and ate it. "My tail," Blackstar shouted in pain.

"Report," Firestar ordered.

"Now Wing's family were all hunted down this morning," Blackstar, leader of BirdClan reported angrily. "EVEN THE F*****G EGGS! Anyway Beak, Foot, Talon and Feather's family have also been eaten, ALIVE!"

"Geez, poor BirdClan," Firestar whispered to Tallstar.

"Anyway, I got a mate, Tail get up here," Blackstar shouted. A bird with no tail flew up to Greatrock and landed beside Blackstar. "Get out of here," Blackstar shouted in the bird's face.

"Now, MouseClan is strong and will attack any feather or paw set on our territory," Leopardstar, leader of MouseClan, reported. "We will not be eaten by anyone, except me."

"But I want a wittle mousey wousey," Tallstar complained.

"WELL YOU'RE NOT GETTING ONE!" Leopardstar proclaimed. "That is all."

"Now, my Clan and I are awesome," Tallstar began.

"Where is your Clan?" Blackstar asked looking around.

"BarbieClan is late," Tallstar replied. "Too busy shopping I guess. Anyway, as I was saying before, BarbieClan is awesome and really hot."

Blackstar and Leopardstar were laughing so much they fell off the Greatrock.

"I now call this Gathering to a close," Firestar proclaimed, banging his paw so hard it fell off.

All the birds, mice and squirrels ran back into the forest. "What just happened?" Blackstar asked.

"Psychotic Leader Caging, Phase 2, is under way," a weird voice said.

"Squirrelkit said that the other day and nothing happened," Firestar explained.

Suddenly a huge net appeared above the four Clan leaders, scooping them up. "Where is it taking us?" someone yelled. The net carried them up, up and away

"Look, it's Firestar," a blue she cat said, bounding over.

"Bluestar, are we dead," Firestar asked, shining his purple eye light on her.

"Yes, you are not dead," Bluestar said.

"But that makes no sense," Firestar screamed in Bluestar's face.

"No it does," Bluestar said.

"Where are we?" Firestar asked.

"You are in StarClan HQ," Bluestar said.

"Ooh HQ, it's such a spooky word," Firestar said.

"HQ," Bluestar bellowed. Firestar collapsed on the ground in fright.

"You can yell?" Firestar asked surprised.

"You haven't regained your sanity yet so we are going to force it into you," Lionheart said, wearing Graystripe's sundae protective suit.

"Hey that is Graystripe's sundae protective suit," Firestar said.

"Then why did he bury it under Greatrock?" Lionheart asked.

"Why does Graystripe do anything?" Bluestar added.

"Hey I heard that," Graystripe called.

"Why is Graystripe here?" Firestar asked. "Where are the other Clan leaders?"

"Graystripe is not here," Bluestar answered. "The other Clan leaders are being spanked for holding a Gathering when it is not full moon, when it isn't even night!"

"You won't spank me will you," Firestar said looking up at Bluestar with huge purple eyes.

"No I won't spank you," Bluestar said. Then to Lionheart she said, "Why didn't I name him Purplepaw? Where in StarClan did I get fire from?"

"Maybe that prophecy?" Lionheart suggested, licking some sundae off his Sundae Protective Suit.

"Can I have a sundi?" Firestar asked, purple eyes still huge, "with donuts!"

"Follow the hallway, take the second Starboard," Bluestar said, now licking the sundae off Lionheart's Sundae Protective Suit.

"Cool thanks," Firestar trotted off. He followed the hallway that magically appeared and took the second Starboard. "Wait a minute what is Starboard?" Firestar asked the thin air.

A cat walked out of a random hallway that also appeared there. "Hawktalon," Firestar said. "What are you doing here?"

"I am going to explain what Starboard is," Hawktalon started. "It is what sailors call right." She said sadly.

"Cool thanks," Firestar said, trotting down the second hallway on the right. He came to a door. He opened it with his purple eye stare. He gasped in shock. The entire room was filled with Chocolate Sundae and donuts.

"DONUTS! SUNDAE!" Firestar screamed, belly flopping into the sundae.

Firestar was swimming around in the sundae, mouth open, eating anything that came in his way. Soon he was full, so he lay on a huge donut and fell asleep.

Firestar opened his purple eyes. He was in his den in ThunderClan. "Noooo," he screamed, "it was only a dream!"

* * *

><p>Later that day;<p>

ThunderClan were lying on Sunningrocks, when Firestar spotted Leopardstar leading a patrol. "Leopardstar," Firestar called, running down to the river, which divided their territories.

"Yes Firestar," Leopardstar groaned.

"Did you get spanked by StarClan HQ?" Firestar asked.

Leopardstar's patrol laughed so hard, they fell in the river. Leopardstar nodded her head. "It hurt so much."

"Well they let me swim in sundae and donuts," Firestar said, licking his lips.

Leopardstar turned around and stalked away, tail straight up.

"Just leave me here then," Firestar cried.

"Bye Firestar," Leopardstar said.

"Bye bye Leopardstar," Firestar said and bolted back to Sunningrocks. "What's cookin' good lookin'?" Firestar asked Sandstorm.

"Only Squirrelkit," Sandstorm said. "SQUIRRELKIT!"

Sandstorm picked Squirrelkit up and threw her in the river. The water sizzled. Squirrelkit's head popped out of the water. "I'm not RiverClan you know," Squirrelkit shouted.

"You are now," Hawkfrost declared, picking Squirrelkit out of the water.

"THUNDERCLAN, GET HERE NOW," Firestar ordered.

ThunderClan bounded through the trees. "We will attack RiverClan," Firestar whispered. "Everyone swim over and run in their camp."

The ThunderClan cats slipped in the water. They put their snorkels on and dived under. They all swam towards RiverClan's camp, which was in the river.

"Attack," Firestar yelled into the water. No one heard him. ThunderClan started attacking at different times. Soon all of ThunderClan was in RiverClan's camp. "Squirrelkit, Daddy has come to save you," Firestar called out.

"Ok," Squirrelkit swam back to ThunderClan and went to sleep.

"Hey let's do that too," the rest of ThunderClan decided.

ThunderClan left all at the same time. They snorkelled back to the other side of the river and ran back to camp. They all lay in a pile and went to sleep.

"Talk about fresh kill," Firestar murmured, lying right at the top of the pile of cats.

* * *

><p><strong>Hawktalon here,<strong>

**Please Review, I love reading them :)**

**Anyone have any suggestions for stories?**


	7. Psychotic Leader Caging, Phase 3

The next day in ThunderClan;

"ThunderClan," Firestar called from Highrock. "Gathering tonight. Sandstorm, Graystripe, Thornclaw, Cloudtail, Brightheart, Brambleclaw, Squirrelkit and Leafkit are coming."

"Firestar I have to stay here and look after Squirrelkit and Leafkit," Sandstorm pointed out.

"No you don't," Firestar said. "Squirrelkit, Leafkit step forward."

Sandstorm gasped as she realized what Firestar was doing.

"Squirrelkit you have finally reached six moons of age," Firestar began. "From this day forward until you get your warrior name, you will be known as Squirrelpaw. Your mentor will be Dustpelt."

"Now Leafkit, you have chosen a to walk a different path," Firestar continued.

Cinderpelt sat in the middle of the clearing. "Leafkit, come over here. Do you promise to uphold the medicine cat code and stand apart from Clan rivalries?" Cinderpelt asked.

"I do," Leafkit replied.

"Then you will be known as Leafpaw," Cinderpelt finished.

The cats started going back to their former duties.

"Firestar, our daughters have finally become apprentices," Sandstorm said, "and you have finally regained your sanity."

"What sanity?" Firestar asked. "I never had any sanity."

"Oh StarClan," Sandstorm muttered.

"Yes Sandstorm," StarClan said.

"Firestar still hasn't regained his sanity," Sandstorm informed. "It's all my fault. I told him to have fun for a change and he hasn't stopped yet."

"We will kidnap him again," StarClan said.

"I'm still here you know," Firestar pointed out.

"We know," StarClan said. "Come for a walk with us, Firestar."

"Okay," Firestar said, flying up to StarClan.

"You MUST regain your sanity or the time of the Clans will end and never come again," Spottedleaf said, once Firestar arrived in StarClan.

"Hey Spottedleaf," Firestar said, "Still like me?"

"You are not listening," Spottedleaf said.

"I am listening to your sweet voice and drinking your sweet scent," Firestar murmured.

"NO, don't drink my scent!" Spottedleaf cried. "If you drink it all I won't be sweet anymore!"

"Spottedleaf, you'll always be sweet to me," Firestar said, "even if I do drink all your scent."

"But other cats will think I am just another medicine cat," Spottedleaf complained.

"But what about Yellowfang," Firestar said. "Maybe you could grow teeth like Yellowfang's and call yourself Spottedfang."

"NO," Spottedleaf screamed. "My name was given to me by my mentor." She stalked off, tail high in the air.

_I am in StarClan by myself_ Firestar realized. _I'll go trash something._

Firestar wandered around the creepy star filled forest, until he came to a sign that said 'Dark Forest! Do NOT enter!. Firestar ignored it, as he couldn't read, and kept walking.

"Fireheart," boomed a deep voice.

"Oh hey Brokentail," Firestar said. "Anyway it's Firestar now."

"Yeah, my name is Broken_star_," Brokenstar pointed out.

"No, you are Brokentail," Firestar stated.

"Brokenstar."

"Brackentail."

"Brokenstar."

"Bananatail."

"Brokenstar."

"Go cry to mummy," Firestar teased.

Brokentail ran towards StarClan, "I'm coming mummy."

Firestar continued walking. Suddenly a light gray tabby cat with blue eyes jumped out of a bush. "Firestar get out of the Dark Forest," the cat said.

"Who are you," Firestar demanded.

"I am your medicine cat, Jayfeather," the cat called Jayfeather said slowly.

"Then why are you here?" Firestar asked suspiciously.

"I am spying, you idiot," Jayfeather said. "GET BACK TO STARCLAN."

Firestar turned around and ran until he came to a sign that said, 'StarClan! Do not be afraid to enter.' Firestar entered StarClan again.

He was walking past a huge tree. He randomly hurled himself at it. It came crashing down in one of the creepy star filled clearings. "I've been eating too many donuts," Firestar shouted. _Donuts_

He bolted through StarClan to the donut shop. "DONUTS," he screamed as he ran in the door. The cat at the counter shouted something into his walkie talkie.

A net scooped Firestar up. "Does StarClan love nets or what?" Firestar muttered. The net dumped him in a room full of donuts. "Is this my jail cell or something?" Firestar asked no one.

"Stop being so sarcastic," an old cat with matted fur said. "That's my job."

"No it's not," Firestar said sarcastically.

"Yes, it is," the old cat said. Suddenly, she was tackled by Brokentail. "Dark Forest is attacking," she tried to scream.

"No mummy, I miss you," Brokentail said.

"My kit," Yellowfang said happily, licking him between the ears.

"You had a kit?" Bluestar asked. "Now I will strip you of your name."

"I don't want to be stripped, thank you very much," Yellowfang said sarcastically. "You had kits with that RiverClan warrior, Oakheart anyway."

"You're both being stripped," Firestar declared, chasing Yellowfang and Bluestar around the donut room.

"Firestar, you almost had kits with me, so you're getting stripped," Spottedleaf said, chasing Firestar.

"Ahhh, Spottedfang is coming," Firestar screamed, chasing Bluestar, who was chasing Yellowfang.

"Spottedfang?" Lionheart asked.

"Why do all these cats keep appearing in _my_ donut room?" Firestar whined.

Suddenly all the cats appeared outside. "Thanks," Firestar said to thin air.

The cats kept chasing each other in circles until Firestar stopped and all the cats crashed into his back. "CONGA LINE!" Firestar shouted. All the StarClan cats joined in. The conga line was so long that it continued into the Dark Forest, where Tigerstar and all his minions joined in.

"Hey, let's watch the Gathering," Spottedleaf suggested.

All the StarClan and Dark Forest cats leaned and looked off the edge of the sky. The cats were heading to the Gathering. "I should be down there," Firestar remembered.

"Oh yeah," Spottedleaf said.

Firestar appeared on Greatrock. Blackstar had just landed and was recovering his balance when Firestar magically appeared. "Wha . . ." Blackstar said, before he slipped off Greatrock.

ShadowClan was the only Clan there. Firestar sat on Greatrock and waited. "Do you always get here this early?" Firestar asked Blackstar, who had jumped back up Greatrock.

"ShadowClan have been here all day," Blackstar said.

"Why," Firestar asked.

"So we're not last to arrive," Blackstar said.

Firestar sighed. "Hurry up ThunderClan," he muttered under his breath.

As if they had heard him, ThunderClan came bounding into the clearing. "Firestar! You're already here," Sandstorm exclaimed.

"Yes," Firestar said. "StarClan sent me here."

Soon all the Clans were there. "I will start this Gathering," Blackstar said. "In ShadowClan . . ."

Firestar zoned out. He yawned and looked up at StarClan. All the stars were over one side of the sky. Firestar giggled. "It's not funny Firestar," Leopardstar said.

"What?" Firestar asked. Leopardstar sighed and looked away.

Soon Leopardstar reported. Firestar looked around the clearing to entertain himself. He saw two birds. He watched the birds get their babies ready for bed. They were reading them a story. "Once upon a time, there was a girl called Goldilocks . . ." the mama bird said.

"Firestar, Firestar," Tallstar called. "You're up."

Firestar slammed back to reality. "I am up," Firestar screamed to the sky. All the cats at the Gathering looked at him strangely. "Are you ready to rock?" Firestar asked, playing his heavy metal music in the background.

"Umm sure," one cat said.

"AWESOME," Squirrelpaw said. "Is every Gathering like this?"

"In ThunderClan lately, we have had two kits become apprentices," Firestar rapped, to his heavy metal music. "Squirrelpaw and Leafpaw. Leafpaw is a medicine cat. Nothing much else," Firestar finished, playing his guitar, that appeared out of nowhere.

Soon the Gathering dismissed itself. Firestar had daydreamed through Tallstar's whole report, well, actually he was listening to mama bird reading Goldilocks.

The ThunderClan patrol sprinted home. The ran through the thorn barrier, said hi to Ashfur, went skydiving, and then went to bed.

Firestar leaped into his nest and closed his eyes. "Psychotic Leader Caging, Phase 3, abandoned," the freaky voice said.

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><p><strong>Hawktalon here,<strong>

**Hope you guys are enjoying it,**

**Like always, please review **


	8. The Return of Scourge

**Thanks to all the wonderful people who have been reviewing.**

**I will try to satisfy everyone.**

**Here you go, zeista240**

* * *

><p>One morning in ThunderClan, Firestar was trampling the gate, so StarClan couldn't lock them in camp again.<p>

"Morning Firestar," Sandstorm said.

"Hello Sandstorm," Firestar said, jumping on the gate like it was a trampoline, trying to snap it in half.

"Hey Firestar what have you got planned for today?" Sandstorm asked sweetly.

"You won't believe what I have planned for today," Firestar said, grinning evilly.

"It is something half normal, isn't it?" Sandstorm asked, starting to get scared.

"If I tell you it won't be a surprise," Firestar answered.

"You never said it was a surprise," Sandstorm pointed out.

"Yes I did," Firestar said, finally snapping the gate in half. "Let's go tell ThunderClan."

Firestar and Sandstorm walked through the thorn barrier, passing Ashfur, who was still stuck in the thorns. "All cats old enough to catch their own prey, gather underneath Highrock for a Clan meeting." Firestar said, bounding up Highrock.

All the cats sat under the Highrock. Firestar looked down at the cats. "I have an idea what we can do today," he began. "We will invite BloodClan for a party!"

"But Firestar, BloodClan is gone," Thornclaw pointed out.

"No we're not," Scourge said, appearing on Highrock beside Firestar. "We're not evil either. We never were. Tigerstar was."

"Nice to have you back Scourge," Firestar said. "Sorry that I killed you then brought you back to life."

"That's fine," Scourge said. "BloodClan! Enter!"

BloodClan all filed through the thorn barrier. More normally than ThunderClan though because none of them got stuck. The ThunderClan camp was full of cats.

"PARTY!" Firestar and Scourge shouted. Music started playing and all the cats started dancing. There wasn't much room in the camp though.

"Hey Scourge, do you think we should move the party elsewhere?" Firestar shouted over the music.

"Fourtrees?" Scourge suggested.

"Good idea," Firestar agreed. "ThunderClan! BloodClan," Firestar shouted. No one heard him.

"BloodClan!" Scourge bellowed. They still didn't hear him.

"Let's grab the music," Firestar suggested.

"I'll do that," Scourge said, running into the crowd and weaving his way through the mass of dancing cats. He grabbed the speakers and ran out the thorn barrier with them.

The cats stopped dancing and looked at each other. They bolted out the thorn barrier and chased Scourge. Suddenly, the thorn barrier started chasing Scourge too. Ashfur had ripped the thorns out of the ground and was chasing Scourge. The cats looked at each other, shrugged and kept running.

Firestar decided to take a detour around the running cats. He ran to the river and crossed the stepping stones into RiverClan territory. "Firestar, what are you doing now?" Leopardstar sighed, as Firestar ran through their camp.

"I am taking a detour," Firestar said, grinning like it was the smartest thing he had ever said.

"Around what?" Mistyfoot asked.

"ThunderClan," Firestar answered.

"Why?" Leopardstar asked.

"Because they were having a party, then Scourge ran away with the speakers, all the cats followed him including the thorn barrier, and Scourge is leading them to Fourtrees," Firestar said without taking a breath.

"Scourge?" Mistyfoot asked, scared. "But he's dead."

"Well I brought him back," Firestar explained quickly. "Go to Fourtrees."

"We'll think about your offer," Leopardstar said.

"Well Scourge won't be here forever," Firestar said.

"Okay, RiverCla-" Leopardstar began.

"Bye," Firestar interrupted and kept running. Firestar ran until he came to a random gorge. He leaped it in one bound. Firestar continued running.

"Get out of our camp," Tallstar said. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Taking a detour," Firestar said. "ThunderClan was having a party then Scourge ran away with the speakers. All the cats followed him and he is heading to Fourtrees."

Firestar ran out of WindClan's camp. He ran into ShadowClan's camp.

"Firestar," Blackstar said, in his gangsta voice. "What you doin' here, holmie?"

"I am taking a detour," Firestar explained for the third time. "We were having a party and Scourge stole the speakers. He ran off to Fourtrees with two Clans following him.

"Scourge?" Blackstar asked. "But he's dead."

"He was," Firestar said running away. He finally decided to head for Fourtrees.

When he was there, the first thing he saw was Squirrelpaw on Greatrock. "Hahaha, If Firestar could see me now," she said.

"Squirrelpaw get down from there!" Firestar yelled.

"Yes Daddy," Squirrelpaw said, leaping off the Greatrock.

"Hey Scourge," Firestar called.

"Yeah Firestar, over here," Scourge called back.

"Scourge, I can't see you," Firestar said to the crowd of dancing cats. "Meet me on Greatrock."

Firestar pushed his way through the crowd and leaped onto Greatrock. Scourge leaped half way up Greatrock and climbed the rest.

"I wish I was bigger," Scourge said.

"I wish Spottedleaf was my mate," Firestar replied.

"I heard that Firestar," Sandstorm yelled.

Suddenly a new scent filled Firestar's hairy nostrils. One he had smelt before. "RiverClan are here," Firestar and Scourge shouted over the music. The dancing cats cheered.

Leopardstar joined Firestar and Scourge on Greatrock. She hissed, hackles raised. "Scourge," she spat.

"Oh Leopardstar," Scourge said, giving her a hug.

"Wha . . ." Leopardstar said, slipping off Greatrock.

Scourge spotted WindClan running down the slope leading to Fourtrees. "WindClan are here," Scourge shouted.

Tallstar was looking somewhat normal today. He only had his pink sun hat on. "Hello Scourge," Tallstar said, leaping up Greatrock.

"Hey Tallstar," Scourge said. "You talk to Firestar, I'm gonna go shake it." He bungee jumped off Greatrock.

"Hi Firestar," Tallstar said, sitting beside Firestar. "You missed Scourge didn't you?"

"Yes, I did miss Scourge," Firestar said.

Meanwhile;

Scourge weaved his way through the cats until he came to Squirrelpaw break-dancing. He joined the circle of cats watching and watched. He liked the way she moved. The dance moves just came so naturally.

"Hey Squirrelpaw, can you show me how to do that?" Scourge asked.

"Sure, come here," Squirrelpaw beckoned with her tail. "You put one paw in front of the other, then you spin around and shake your head and tail."

Squirrelpaw taught Scourge a few more moves. Soon Scourge was break dancing with Squirrelpaw, to Set It Off, (by Timomatic). They moved at exactly the same time. They each knew what the other was doing. They looked amazing, dancing side by side.

"Yo Firestar," Blackstar said, running into the clearing with his Clan.

"Hi Blackstar," Firestar replied.

The ShadowClan cats started dancing. Suddenly the song changed to What makes you Beautiful (by One Direction). Scourge looked into Squirrelpaw's eyes and he sung;

Baby, you light up my world like no body else,  
>The way that you wag your tail gets me overwhelmed,<br>But when you grin at the ground it ain't hard to tell,  
>You don't know you're beautiful,<p>

(I changed a few words so it isn't copyrighted)

Squirrelpaw looked back at Scourge, "Scourge I am only an apprentice."

"But does that really matter?" Scourge asked.

"Well I guess . . ." Squirrelpaw started.

"Squirrelpaw, move away from Scourge," Firestar called, from the top of Greatrock.

"Why Daddy?" Squirrelpaw said. "You are sitting near Leopardstar."

"W-well I umm," Firestar stammered.

"Yo Firestar, let her be," Homie Blackstar said.

"But Scourge," Firestar burst out crying. "She's too young."

"How old were you when you first loved?" Blackstar asked.

"A-an apprentice," Firestar answered. "But Squirrelpaw likes Brambleclaw."

"I don't know," Blackstar suddenly yelled.

The Clan cats partied late into the night. "Come on guys, it must be nearly bed time," Leopardstar called.

"Never," Firestar declared.

"Never," Blackstar agreed.

"We will party until the crack of dawn," a random cat cried.

"That is IT," Leopardstar shouted in frustration. She walked over to the speakers and put on a song, a song that no cat likes. A song that is . . .

It's FRIDAY, FRIDAY,  
>gotta get up on Friday,<br>Gotta get ready for the weekend,

All the cats covered their ears and bolted back to their camps. "You'll pay for this Leopardstar," Scourge shouted.

Scourge and Firestar ran back to ThunderClan, taking Firestar's detour. They arrived at camp.

"Scourge," Firestar said. "It was great having you back."

"It was great being back," Scourge said. "But I must go now."

"Do you have to go?" Squirrelpaw asked sadly.

Scourge nodded. "Good bye Squirrelpaw. I will never forget the break dancing you taught me."

"Goodbye Scourge," Squirrelpaw said, tears in her eyes. "I'll miss you."

Scourge walked out of the ThunderClan camp. BloodClan followed.

Ashfur put the thorn barrier back where it went and Squirrelpaw helped untangle him.

"Thanks," he muttered."Feels good to have that off."

"Good night ThunderClan," Firestar called, as he went to his den.

ThunderClan slept through the rest of the night and the entire next day.

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><p><strong>Hawktalon here,<strong>

**Hope you liked it.**

**Please Review :) **


	9. To the Beach

**Hawktalon,**

**Here you go, Rottedheart of the river. Hope you like it.**

* * *

><p>One day, Graystripe was leading the dawn patrol. "It's great that Firestar is almost half normal now," he acknowledged.<p>

"Tell me about it," Sandstorm muttered.

"Hey I wonder when we'll see Hawktalon and Lunarwing next," Squirrelpaw commented. "Maybe they can bring Scourge back for real."

"Squirrelpaw dear, Scourge is a bad cat," Sandstorm pointed out gently.

"Scourge is not a bad cat," Squirrelpaw argued. "He was running BloodClan fine until Tigerstar decided to step in."

"What do you know about leadership?" Graystripe asked.

"I smell mouse," Squirrelpaw said, running off into the undergrowth.

"At least Firestar made her an apprentice," Sandstorm said. "She was a handful as a kit."

"Hey look," Graystripe said, pointing with his tail.

"What is that?" Sandstorm asked.

"It's the latest brand of helicopter," Graystripe explained, "the sea plane."

"What is sea?" Squirrelpaw asked, walking over to them.

"Water surrounded by sand," Graystripe said.

"So, like RiverClan," Squirrelpaw asked.

"No, not like RiverClan," Graystripe sighed.

"I'll stay here with Sandstorm, Squirrelpaw go get Firestar," Graystripe ordered.

Squirrelpaw ran back to camp. Soon she returned with Firestar and the whole Clan.

"To the beach," Firestar declared.

ThunderClan got in the helicopter. "I'm driving," Graystripe called.

"I bags co-pilot," Firestar said.

"Now everyone, take a seat," Leafpaw instructed. "AND HOLD ON FOR STARCLAN'S SAKE!"

Everyone sat down and Graystripe closed the doors. "Off we go," Graystripe said.

The helicopter took off and Graystripe flew over WindClan territory. "Look WindClan have a helicopter too," Brambleclaw called.

"I wonder if they know it's there," Thornclaw wondered.

"What does this button do?" Firestar asked, pressing a button. Suddenly the helicopter turned off and plummeted down.

"Firestar press that button again," Graystripe bellowed.

Firestar pressed the button again and the helicopter returned to where it was flying before the button was pushed.

"That was awesome," Ashfur shouted. "Can we do it again?"

"Are you really that mouse brained?" Squirrelpaw asked.

"No," Ashfur said, looking out the window.

"Ladies, Gentlemen and Ashfur," Graystripe started. "We are at the beach. Get ready to land."

Graystripe gently lowered the helicopter. "How did you land it so smoothly?" Thornclaw asked Graystripe.

"Don't you guys read Clan Cats Weekly?" Graystripe asked.

"Umm no," Thornclaw replied.

"Anyway," Firestar interrupted, "to the beach!"

ThunderClan ran down to the beach. All the cats got their towels out of their bags and lay them on the sand. Firestar unpacked the picnic bag. All the cats ate their lunch and lay on their towels for half an hour. "You must wait half an hour after eating, to go swimming," Cinderpelt had said.

"You can go swimming now," Cinderpelt said, checking her watch.

ThunderClan bolted down to the water. Ashfur ran in first. "It's salty!" he exclaimed.

"Well, I brought the sugar," Squirrelpaw said. She ran back to where Cinderpelt was minding the towels and looked in her bag. She pulled out a huge container of sugar. She ran back down the beach, with the sugar and poured it in the sea. "Try it now," she instructed.

Ashfur lapped at the water. "Great StarClan, this is amazing," he said, jumping in the water.

The rest of ThunderClan jumped in. "What is that noise?" Thornclaw asked.

"Just another helicopter," Graystripe said dismissively.

"ANOTHER HELICOPTER," Thornclaw realized. The helicopter landed on the beach. The door opened.

"Yo Firestar," Blackstar called, hopping out of the helicopter with his Clan.

"You got a helicopter too?" Firestar asked, sighing.

"Yeah, we found it in our camp," Blackstar explained. "Why does everything have to land in our camp?"

"Cool," Firestar said.

ShadowClan didn't bring towels or a picnic lunch, so they jumped straight into the water.

"Why does it taste so good?" Tawnypelt asked.

"Sugar," Squirrelpaw explained.

The ShadowClan and ThunderClan cats were swimming, when they heard the sound of another helicopter. The helicopter turned off and dived straight for the sea. Squirrelpaw caught a glimpse of Tallstar behind the wheel, laughing like a maniac.

The helicopter dived straight into the water. Somehow, it floated. WindClan jumped out, followed by RiverClan.

Once RiverClan saw the sea, they rubbed their eyes and began to fish instantly. They fished like penguins, swimming after their prey.

"Hi Firestar," Tallstar said.

"Hi Tallstar," Firestar replied.

"Hi Firestar," Tallstar repeated.

"Tallstar, you already said that," Firestar pointed out.

"No I didn't," Tallstar said, jumping out of the helicopter into the water.

Firestar sighed and swam over to Sandstorm and Graystripe. "Look at Squirrelpaw," Sandstorm was saying, "all grown up."

Firestar looked over at Squirrelpaw. She was swimming around in her bright yellow life jacket.

"WAHOO," Ashfur screamed in joy.

"Why does Ashfur get a jet ski," Squirrelpaw complained.

"Because _I_ hijacked it," Ashfur replied.

"I bags the jet boat," Firestar called, running over to a huge red jet boat with teeth.

"No I bags the jet boat," a great white shark said.

"Now you two break it up," Sandstorm said.

"Crab fight," the great white shark declared.

The great white shark picked up a huge crab. Firestar picked up a huge tortoise and whacked the shark's had so hard, thet the tortoise snapped in half. The shark fainted. Firestar showed off his muscles, and then bounded towards the jet boat.

"I'm in the front row," some random cat called.

"Clan leaders and deputies in the front," Brambleclaw suggested.

The other Clans followed Firestar over to the jet boat. "Click your seatbelts in," Firestar said, "I'm taking this baby for a spin."

As soon as Firestar finished saying that, he put his foot on the accelerator and zoomed off at 150kmph. "OH YEAH," Firestar screamed. Firestar stopped suddenly, spraying water over all the cats. Then he zoomed in circles, around and around, until Firestar had made a whirlpool.

Firestar put the boat on full speed to get out of the whirlpool. As soon as the boat was free, the boat zoomed off at the speed of an aeroplane. Firestar screamed and crashed into a ferry. The jet boat went straight through the ferry. The Twolegs on the ferry screamed and jumped overboard.

"Slow it down Firestar," Leopardstar asked, "for all our sakes."

"Alright," Firestar said, slowing down.

"Let's go visit Midnight," Brambleclaw suggested.

"Who, in the name of StarClan, is Midnight?" Firestar asked.

"Some badger that lives by the sea," Brambleclaw explained.

Firestar zoomed over to a steep cliff. He docked the boat at the jetty that someone had put there.

"Everyone out," Firestar ordered.

"Midnight," Crowpaw from WindClan called. "You home?"

"No I am not home," said a badger.

"Oh, let's go," Firestar said, heading back to his boat.

"Are all cats that mouse brained?" Midnight the badger asked. The Clan cats instantly shook their heads. "In days coming now, all Clans must be one. If not, trouble destroy you."

"What do you mean?" Brambleclaw whispered.

"The Clans must leave the forest," Midnight said.

"Why?" Firestar asked.

"Because you have been causing too much trouble and the Twolegs are coming to eat you," Midnight shot back.

Firestar cringed. "Let's go to that lake that we flew over," Firestar suggested.

"No, you still must become one," Midnight said.

"Leopardstar, Blackstar and Tallstar, come talk to me," Firestar said. Blackstar, Leopardstar and Tallstar discussed for a while.

"We have decided to put all the Clans together and call it FireClan," Firestar said.

"We didn't discuss that," Blackstar pointed out. "We discussed who would win the footy."

"But it pretty good idea, hey," Midnight said. "GET OUT OF HY HOUSE!" she suddenly yelled.

All the Clans rushed back to the boat. Firestar hooned back to the beach, where all the cats climbed out.

"In the helicopters," Firestar instructed. WindClan and ShadowClan both jumped in the same helicopter. ThunderClan packed up their towels and jumped into the helicopter. RiverClan filled their helicopter with fish.

Graystripe flew to the lake. He landed in a clearing in a forest. "I bags this territory," Firestar declared. "Now we need a camp."

"I just fell into this stone hollow, why don't we use this," Squirrelpaw said.

"Okay," Firestar said, unpacking the leftover picnic lunch and throwing it into the camp.

"It's raining fresh-kill," Ashfur sang.

* * *

><p><strong>Hawktalon,<strong>

**If anyone has any more suggestions please PM them to me. **

**Please review, if you haven't got an account you can still review.**

**One or two lines in that story were from the book, Midnight.**

**And for those who don't understand Aussie slang, footy is football**


	10. Mudclaw's death

**Hawktalon,**

**Disclaimer; Ok so, I don't own warriors, LMFAO, shuffling or the mouse . . . ****Enjoy! **

* * *

><p>"By the power of my warrior ancestors, I name you Squirrelflight," Firestar finished, accidentally slipping off Highledge.<p>

"Squirrelflight! Squirrelflight," ThunderClan cheered.

"Ashfur, Ashfur," Ashfur called.

Thornclaw joined in with Ashfur. "Thornclaw, Thornclaw," he chanted.

Soon all of ThunderClan was shouting their own names like it was _their_ warrior ceremony. "Well you can all sit vigil tonight then," Firestar said.

The clearing was suddenly quiet. "Scourge, Scourge," Ashfur called.

"Shut up Ashfur," Squirrelflight shouted. No one had stopped teasing Squirrelflight about her love for Scourge.

"SCOURGE," Scourge randomly screamed, running through the bramble barrier.

"Why are you here?" Squirrelflight asked, running over to him.

"I don't know," Scourge replied, vanishing again.

"Oh he's gone," Squirrelflight said, sadly.

"Hey, let's go kill Mudclaw," Brambleclaw said. Brambleclaw hated anyone with the second name 'claw'.

"I never really liked him anyway," Firestar said.

"We'll split into three patrols," Brambleclaw said, like he had been rehearsing. "Firestar you lead the distraction, I'll lead the attacking patrol and Squirrelflight can stay here with the third patrol and guard the camp.

"Okay," Firestar said. "Choose your warriors."

"Shrewpaw, Brackenfur, Thornclaw, and Spiderleg," Brambleclaw said.

"Graystripe, Rainwhisker, Cloudtail, Sootfur and Dustpelt," Firestar said.

"Everyone else can stay back here with me," Squirrelflight said.

Firestar and Brambleclaw led their patrols out of camp. "Hey, they took all the toms," Sandstorm pointed out.

"They left me," Ashfur pointed out.

"You're a tom?" Squirrelflight asked shocked.

"No I'm a snail," Ashfur replied sarcastically.

"I love snails," Squirrelflight said, leaping on Ashfur. "Giddy up horsie."

"Oof, get off me," Ashfur said, heaving Squirrelflight off.

Meanwhile;

"Shake that," Firestar said, walking into the WindClan camp.

"Every day I'm shuffling," Firestar's patrol of tom cats replied, in a very deep voice.

Firestar, Graystripe, Cloudtail, Dustpelt, Sootfur, Rainwhisker and Scourge all started LMFAO shuffling.

"Hey Scourge," Firestar said.

"Firestar, I'm back for real!" Scourge exclaimed.

"Where are you staying?" Firestar asked.

"Nowhere yet," Scourge said sadly.

"Join ThunderClan," Firestar said.

"Really," Scourge said, still shuffling.

"Sure," Firestar said, also shuffling. "Squirrelflight has really missed you."

"I miss-" Scourge said.

"ATTACK," Brambleclaw screamed, running into WindClan's camp.

Only Brambleclaw's patrol attacked. Firestar's patrol was still shuffling.

Brambleclaw's patrol attacked the WindClan cats. At first WindClan was too shocked to do anything, and then they started fighting back. Everyone was fighting except for Firestar's patrol, who were still shuffling. Scourge shuffled and bumped into Mudclaw. "You," he spat.

"Hi," Scourge said nicely.

"I am going to kill you," Mudclaw spat, leaping, claws outstretched, at Scourge. Scourge lifted up his sharp claws and ripped Mudclaw's face off. Underneath was a mouse. "My face!" Mudclaw screamed, writhing on the ground.

"You actually _are_ a mouse brain," Scourge laughed.

"I was going to take over WindClan and change it to MouseClan," Mudclaw spat. "I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling ThunderClan."

As soon as he said that, Mudclaw was struck by purple lightning. A random tree also fell over, connecting an island to the bank.

"Cool," Scourge said. "Now you can use that island for your Greetings."

"Gatherings," Firestar corrected. "ThunderClan, SHUFFLE!"

ThunderClan shuffled out of WindClan's camp. They shuffled through the stream and back to camp.

"Squirrelflight," Scourge called. "I'm back for real this time!"

"SCOURGE," all the she-cats called, trampling Firestar.

"Can I have your autograph?" Brightheart asked.

"Sure," Scourge said, stamping his paw print on a leaf and handing it to Brightheart.

"Me too," Ashfur called.

"Umm okay," Scourge said.

"All cats old enough to catch their own prey gather beneath Highledge for a Clan meeting," Firestar called. All cats sat beneath Highledge.

"Where did you go?" Firestar asked, on Highledge.

"You told us to gather under Highledge, so we did," Ashfur said.

Firestar looked over the edge of Highledge. "Come out of there," he said. The cats climbed out and sat where they could see Firestar.

"Now I have another ceremony to perform," Firestar said. "Scourge, come up to Highledge." Scourge walked up to Highledge. "Now I have decided to take Scourge into ThunderClan. But if you live with us, you can't kill any cats."

"I won't be needing these," Scourge said, taking his dog claw collar off.

"Do you promise to uphold the warrior code and not kill any more cats?" Firestar asked Scourge.

"I do," Scourge said.

"Then, by the powers of StarClan, I give you your warrior name. Scourge from this moment on you will be called Scourgeclaw.

"Scourgeclaw, Scourgeclaw," ThunderClan cheered for the second time that day.

"Anyway, Mudclaw is dead, we have a place for Gatherings to be held and Leafpaw, go to sleep, so you can find the Moonpool" Firestar said. "Anyway, Squirrelflight is moving to the elders den."

"I am not," Squirrelflight shouted. "I only became a warrior today."

"You are now," Firestar said.

"Do you _want_ to be ripped open like Tigerstar?" Scourgeclaw threatened Firestar.

"AHH TIGERSTAR," Firestar screamed. "He's here?"

Scourgeclaw rolled his eyes. "Yes, he'll get you unless you go into your den and go to sleep."

Firestar bolted into his den and closed the gate.

"To bed," Scourgeclaw said, leaping off Highledge.

"Hey Scourgeclaw," Squirrelflight said. "Let's do our vigil together."

"Okay," Scourgeclaw said, sitting beside her.

"I'm happy to be back," Scourgeclaw said.

"We're happy to have you back," Squirrelflight said, "Especially Ashfur."

Squirrelflight and Scourgeclaw sat outside all night. Around Midnight, it started snowing, but the thing is, it wasn't cold. Scourgeclaw looked up at Silverpelt. This was the beginning of a lifetime of happiness. He was a warrior, had the girl and was the good guy.

* * *

><p><strong>Hawktalon,<strong>

**Please review my story (which is lots of stories really . . . anyway)**

**zestia240 I hope you like it**


	11. Australia Day

**Happy Australia Day !**

* * *

><p>The next day in ThunderClan<p>

"Firestar, what shall we do now?" Brambleclaw asked.

"I know," Firestar said. "We'll take the helicopter and go to Australia."

"What is Australia?" Ashfur asked.

"Australia is an awesome country," Firestar said. "They have koalas and kangaroos."

"How do you know?" Sandstorm asked.

"Don't you read Clan Cats Weekly?" Firestar asked.

"Umm no," Thornclaw replied.

"**WELL YOU SHOULD**," Firestar screamed at Thornclaw.

"Okay, let's go," Squirrelpaw said.

ThunderClan ran into the forest and into the helicopter. Graystripe was driving and Firestar was co-pilot (groan).

"To Australia," Firestar shouted as they lifted off.

Graystripe aimed the helicopter towards Australia. He pressed a button that said 'light speed'. The helicopter reached Australia in a matter of seconds.

Graystripe landed the helicopter. The ThunderClan cats ran out and went to the Sydney Opera House.

"G-day mate," a strange black cat said in his Aussie accent.

"Who are you?" Firestar asked.

"I'm Felix," Felix said.

"I'm Squirrelpaw," Squirrelpaw said. "This is Firestar, Graystripe, Sandstorm, Sorreltail, Brackenfur . . ."

"Cool," Felix interrupted. "Now, do you want to come watch the footy?"

"Footy?" Ashfur asked.

"Football," Felix explained.

"Okay, we'll come," Squirrelpaw decided.

Felix led ThunderClan through Sydney, until they came to the Sydney Football Stadium. "Here we are," Felix announced.

"What is that?" Ashfur asked.

"That is a barbecue," Felix explained. "The humans are cooking sausages. They are so good. I'm grabbing a sambo," Felix said, leaping up on the counter.

"What is a sambo?" Ashfur asked.

"A sandwich," Felix explained. "You're not from around here, are you?"

"No, we flew here in an aeroplane," Firestar said.

Graystripe rolled his eyes. "Firestar it was a helicopter."

"It was?" Firestar asked.

"Yes," Graystripe answered.

"Anyway, come watch the footy, mate," Felix said, "when you hear this stupidly loud horn, that means the footy is about to start."

So, ThunderClan found seats and watched the footy. The Twolegs were throwing a ball around and tackling each other. It was fun to watch. "Hey, since it is Australia day, want to come to my place for a barbecue?" Felix asked.

"Sure," Ashfur said. "What is Australia day?"

Felix sighed. "Why do I always have to get stuck with the loonies?" he muttered under his breath. Louder, he said "Australia day is when Australians celebrate the day the First Fleet landed in Botany Bay."

"First Fleet?" Squirrelflight asked, walking beside Scourgeclaw.

"Boats," Felix explained. "Now, do you want to come to my place?"

"**YES**," ThunderClan boomed.

"Follow me," Felix said. He led ThunderClan through Sydney to his house. "Here we are."

Felix's house was awesome! There was a barbecue going with Twolegs cooking heaps of fresh-kill. There was also a black tarp laid down a hill.

"What's with the tarp?" Scourgeclaw asked.

Felix rolled his eyes. "It's for a slide."

Ashfur's eyes widened. "Can we go on the slide?"

"**NOT YET, YOU FURBALL**," Felix shouted in frustration.

"Oh, okay," Ashfur said happily. He narrowed his eyes until they disappeared, "Why not?"

"It hasn't got water on it yet," Felix sighed, "or detergent."

"Detergent?" Ashfur asked.

"Never mind," Felix said. "You can go on it if you really want."

"YAY," Ashfur screamed, bounding to the slide. He ran down the hill and flopped on his belly, expecting to slide down the slide. He leapt up and jumped in the Twoleg pool. He sizzled. Ashfur climbed out, fur dripping. ThunderClan burst out laughing.

Ashfur looked down at his stomach. The slide had sizzled off all his fur. "DON'T LOOK AT ME!" he screamed, trying to hide behind a tree. "I'M NAKED!"

ThunderClan was laughing so hard that they rolled down the hill, then down the slide. "OHH HOT!" one cat exclaimed, leaping into the pool. All of ThunderClan bombed in the pool. Felix was sitting on the side of the pool, calmly washing a paw.

"Hey, you do know, you're all naked," Felix pointed out.

ThunderClan looked down. They all screamed. The screaming was so loud it woke up Tallstar, who is impossible to wake up. Firestar even jumped on him like a trampoline and he didn't wake up. Firestar really likes trampolines. There was this time . . .

Anyway, back to the story.

"Firestar what are we going to do," Squirrelflight asked Thornclaw, mistaking him for Firestar. "Firestar, where are you?"

Firestar didn't answer. "Hello, Firestar," Squirrelflight said. Firestar still didn't answer.

The Twoleg shouted something. "Ooh the burgers are ready," Felix said, preparing to run over to the barbecue.

"Wait," one of the naked cats called, I think it might have been Graystripe. "Do you have anything for us, to cover ourselves?"

"Wait right there," Felix said. He ran into the Twoleg house. He came back with a heap of clothing. He dumped it on the ground. "Take your pick."

The ThunderClan cats picked out some clothes to wear. Firestar, Graystripe, Thornclaw and Rainwhisker all wore singlets. Scourgeclaw wore a hoodie. All the she-cats wore pink shirts. But Ashfur was left with a pink and purple flower dress.

"Do I really have to wear this?" Ashfur asked.

"Yes you do," Squirrelflight answered, slamming the dress over Ashfur's head. "Blue is more my style," he complained.

"Well can you see a blue dress anywhere?" Squirrelflight asked.

"Yes," Ashfur replied. "Over there."

Squirrelflight picked up the blue dress that Ashfur wanted and put that on him too. "But now I have two," Ashfur complained.

"Come on you two, burgers are ready," Felix called.

"Burgers?" Ashfur asked.

**"SHUT UP OR I'LL THROW YOU DOWN THE SLIDE!"** Squirrelflight bellowed.

"**NO**, not the slide," Ashfur said, fur bristling, eyes widening.

"Yes, the slide," Squirrelflight confirmed.

"Come on Squirrelflight," Scourgeclaw called. "You'll miss out on burgers."

"Coming," Squirrelflight bolted, leaving Ashfur to scramble after her.

Squirrelflight grabbed a plate and lined up behind Scourgeclaw. "Go in front of me," he insisted.

"Thanks," Squirrelflight murmured. She held up her plate and the Twoleg put a huge piece of fresh-kill on it.

She took it over to Leafpaw and Cinderpelt. "Hey Cinderpelt, I think this burger is trying to say something," Leafpaw said, her ear pressed against the burger.

"What?" Cinderpelt said, snapping out of her daydream.

"It says, eat me," Leafpaw said.

"Well eat it then," Squirrelflight said, coming over with Scourgeclaw.

Leafpaw shoved her face into the burger. "It tastes so good," she mumbled.

"I don't know you," Squirrelflight said.

"Yes you do," Leafpaw pointed out, burger dripping off her lip.

Squirrelflight groaned. She ate her burger with Scourgeclaw. "Hey, it's time to play on the slide," Felix shouted.

ThunderClan groaned. "No, the humans pour water down it and the water cools it down." Felix explained.

Ashfur ripped off his dresses. "I bags going first," He screamed to the sky.

"MY EYES," Leafpaw squealed, covering her eyes.

"Put some clothes on, you stripper," Squirrelflight said.

"But I thought you liked my body," Ashfur whined.

"But I thought you said you were going first," Squirrelflight shot back.

Ashfur walked sadly up to the slide. "Good bye, my friends," he said.

"You had friends!" Squirrelflight exclaimed. "Who told him that?" she asked scanning the crowd of ThunderClan cats.

"My mummy did," Ashfur said protectively.

"Who is your mummy?" Squirrelflight asked.

"I don't know," Ashfur answered, getting ready to run down the hill. "I forgot."

ThunderClan and Felix burst out laughing at Ashfur for the second time that day. Ashfur ran down the hill and slid down the slide. The Twolegs had put detergent on the slide so Ashfur flew down the hill. He was going so fast, that he couldn't stop in time and crashed into a random tree that appeared at the bottom of the slide.

ThunderClan played on the slide until dinner time. "We had better be going," a cat, who I believe was Graystripe, said.

"Stay for dinner," Felix replied.

So ThunderClan stayed for dinner. "Geez this chicken is good," Squirrelflight commented to Scourgeclaw.

"It tastes just like mouse," Scourgeclaw agreed.

"We had better be going," Graystripe said again.

"Stay for the after party," Felix said.

So ThunderClan stayed for the after party. Soon everyone was asleep, well, except for Ashfur, who had drunk too much juice.

"You put your right paw in, you put your right paw out," he sung, swaying from side to side. "You turn around and . . . I forgot the rest!" he cried.

"We _are_ going now," Graystripe commanded.

"To the lake," ThunderClan announced.

"Ashfur, we're going now," Graystripe said.

"Okay," Ashfur said. "Bye bye Squirrely."

"No Ashfur, I do not like you that way," Squirrelflight sighed.

"Quick, to the aeroplane," Firestar whispered.

"I'm coming with you guys," Felix said. "I've seen how fun Clan life is."

ThunderClan and Felix snuck away, leaving Ashfur behind. They went to the helicopter, which was also a plane and flew home. All the ThunderClan cats fell asleep except for Graystripe, who had drunk coffee to stay awake.

"Wake up ThunderClan," Graystripe said, after landing the helicopter.

ThunderClan didn't wake up but walked to their nests anyway. Graystripe rubbed his eyes, blamed the coffee and went to Firestar's nest, as Firestar had stolen his nest.

_Why does Firestar like gates so much?_ Graystripe wondered, falling asleep in Firestar's lumpy donut nest.

* * *

><p><strong>Hawktalon,<strong>

**Happy Australia Day peeps,**

**Any suggestions for crazy stories? Review please**


	12. The Teleporter

**Here you go Cristalstar, hope you like it**

* * *

><p>"<strong>GET OUT OF MY NEST!<strong>" Firestar yelled in Graystripe's ear.

"Huh," Graystripe grunted.

"**GET OUT**," Firestar repeated.

"Geez, Firestar," Graystripe complained. "Who drove the helicopter back yesterday?"

"I don't care but get out of my nest," Firestar said.

Graystripe yawned, stretched and got out of Firestar's nest. "Did he hurt my babies?" Firestar soothed, stroking his donut nest.

"Firestar, I am now very worried about your state of mind," Graystripe said.

"Okay," Firestar replied sweetly.

Graystripe sighed. He walked out on Highledge. The camp was very busy today. All the cats were gathered around the middle of the camp "What's going on?" Graystripe called.

"Nothing," Squirrelflight replied. "We're not building a teleport device."

"Hey, where are you teleporting to?" Graystripe asked.

"We don't know," Squirrelflight replied.

"We'll just have to wait and see," Scourgeclaw added.

"I'll help," Graystripe replied.

So, ThunderClan and Felix randomly built a teleport device in the middle of the camp. "Whose idea was this?" Graystripe asked.

ThunderClan look at Felix. "Hey, I have always wanted to build a teleport device," Felix replied defensively.

"It's a pretty good idea," Graystripe said.

Graystripe had almost finished, when Firestar came out of his den. "What is _that_?" he asked.

"Nothing," Scourgeclaw said. "We're not building a teleport device."

"Okay," Firestar said, walking back into his den.

ThunderClan burst out laughing and continued building the teleport device. "Just one more stick," Felix ordered.

Someone handed Felix a smooth stick with crosses on it. "STOP," Leafpaw cried. Felix looked at Leafpaw like she was mad.

"I like that stick," Leafpaw said quietly.

Sandstorm sighed. "Leafpaw, you can't keep every stick you like."

"Oh," Leafpaw said. "But that stick is special."

"Just give her the stick," Ashfur cried.

Felix handed the stick to Leafpaw and she carried it off to the medicine den. "Just one more stick, again," Felix said. Someone handed Felix a stick.

"**WAIT**," Leafpaw cried again.

"NO," Felix boomed back, putting the final stick in place. The machine buzzed to life. "Mwahahaha," Felix laughed evilly.

"**BLACKSTAR GET OUT OF OUR CAMP**," Firestar screamed, running out of his den.

"That was Felix," Squirrelflight said.

"Oh," Firestar said. "What is _that_?"

"Nothing," Scourgeclaw said.

"Oh oka-" Firestar began.

"Firestar we are building, or have built, a teleport device," Sandstorm said.

"Can I go first?" Ashfur asked. Graystripe nodded.

Ashfur leapt into the teleport device and disappeared in a flash of bright light. "I think it's safe," some cat said. ThunderClan scrambled into the teleport device. Cinderpelt and the elders stayed behind.

They came out. "Where are we?" Scourgeclaw wondered.

"**WHAT ARE YO DOING IN OUR CAMP, HOMIE?**" Blackstar shouted.

"Since when have you got a teleporter?" Firestar asked.

"Since . . ." Blackstar started.

"Back to the teleporter," Graystripe interrupted.

ThunderClan jumped back through the teleporter. "Now where are we?" Squirrelflight wondered.

"**WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY CAMP?**" Tallstar asked.

"Now _you_ have a teleporter," Firestar sighed.

"Hey Tallstar it is _our_ camp," Onewhisker, the new deputy, said.

"It's mine now," Tallstar shot back.

ThunderClan rushed back to the teleporter. They leaped through and landed in a river.

"Very funny Leopardstar," Firestar called. Leopardstar walked out from behind a tree.

"I have waited behind that tree for three seasons now," Leopardstar smiled. "It was all worth it."

"We haven't been here for three seasons," Scourgeclaw pointed out.

"We haven't?" Leopardstar asked.

"Back to the teleporter again," Graystripe ordered.

ThunderClan climbed out of the river and jumped through the teleporter. They came out in a strange Twolegplace.

"Now where are we," Leafpaw asked.

"You are in some random city that I can never remember the name of," a Twoleg said, appearing from a building.

"Hi," Squirrelflight said. "Who are you and how can you understand us?"

"I am Veronica and my friend Michelle was on the computer reading this story," Veronica said.

"Hey, I am not reading anymore," another Twoleg said, coming out of the Twoleg building after Veronica.

"How can you understand us?" Scourgeclaw asked.

Veronica and Michelle looked at each other. They nodded. "Watch closely and don't be scared."

Suddenly, Michelle and Veronica started shrinking and growing fur. They sprouted ears and a tail.

"**GREAT STARCLAN**," Scourgeclaw exclaimed.

Michelle had dark brown and gold fur. Veronica had black fur with pink stripes.

"See, this is how we can understand you," Veronica said.

"Okay," Firestar said. "Now what?"

"Come see the City Pool," Michelle suggested.

"City poo?" Ashfur asked. ThunderClan laughed at Ashfur, who had somehow walked back from Australia overnight. They followed Veronica and Michelle through the weird Twolegplace.

"Behold, the City Pool," Michelle said.

"Ooh pool," Leafpaw said, jumping into the pool. "You know, I wouldn't mind being called Leafpool."

"Leafpoo?" Ashfur asked.

ThunderClan laughed again and leapt in the pool. Veronica looked at Michelle and leapt in the pool too.

"We forgot our towels," Sandstorm cried.

"Don't worry you can use ours," Veronica said.

"Cool, thanks," Sandstorm said.

"Ooh, fish," Squirrelflight said, trying to catch one.

Scourgeclaw dived in the water. He surfaced with a fish in his jaws. "Oh Scourgeclaw," Squirrelflight exclaimed. "It's gold, my favourite colour."

"Gold is a great colour," Scourgeclaw agreed.

"Scourgeclaw, I-"

"Squirrelflight, you are too young," Firestar interrupted.

"Firestar, you loved Sandstorm when you were a warrior," Squirrelflight shot back. Then to Scourgeclaw she said, "Scourgeclaw I love you."

"I love you too," Scourgeclaw mumbled, through the fish.

"Umm, guys, I think it is time to go home," Graystripe said.

"No," Firestar argued. "I am swimming in city poo."

"Come to our place for the night then," Micelle said.

"Firestar can keep swimming in city poo and we'll go home," Sandstorm decided.

"Okay," Veronica said sadly, "If you really have to go."

ThunderClan jumped out of the pool. They shook their fur, trying to dry it. "I whip my fur back and forth, I whip my fur back and forth," Ashfur sang.

"Ashfur, shut up," Squirrelflight said.

"Come on ThunderClan," Veronica said. "Come to my place."

ThunderClan followed Veronica to her house. "Hey Veronica, how come you can change into a cat?" Sandstorm asked.

"Well, Michelle and I, we are witches," Veronica answered.

"Can I ride your broomstick?" Firestar interrupted.

"Umm, no," Veronica replied. "Anyway, we were playing around with some spells and suddenly, we changed into cats. We have been able to change back and forth ever since."

ThunderClan followed Veronica and Michelle back to their house. "I'll go get some towels," Veronica said. She changed back into a Twoleg and went inside. She came back out with huge pieces of Twoleg clothing. She draped them over the ThunderClan cats and rubbed them dry. "Michelle, I could use some help," Veronica said.

"Okay then," Michelle said, saying good bye to Thornclaw and turning back into a Twoleg. Michelle and Veronica rubbed ThunderClan dry.

"Hey, where is the teleporter?" Scourgeclaw asked.

"Over there," Squirrelflight replied. "Wait, was it over there?"

"We're stuck here forever," Firestar wailed.

"I think I –" Ashfur started, before vanishing in a flash of bright light.

"Woah, Ashfur found it," Squirrelflight muttered.

"Good bye Veronica and Michelle," Sandstorm said.

"Good bye ThunderClan," Veronica said.

"Good bye Michelle," Thornclaw said sadly.

"Good bye Thornclaw," Michelle said.

ThunderClan leapt through the teleporter. They appeared back in camp, well everyone except Firestar. Firestar fell into the river, jumped back through the teleporter and ended up in Tallstar's camp, not WindClan's camp, Tallstar's camp. He jumped back through the teleporter and appeared in ShadowClan's camp.

"Homie Firestar," Blackstar said, in his gangsta voice. His gangsa voice comes and goes.

Firestar ran from ShadowClan's camp back to ThunderClan's camp. He ran through the thorn barrier and stopped in shock. The Clan had made a piñata. Scourgeclaw hit the piñata with Ashfur and donuts fell out.

"**DONUTS**," Firestar screamed in horror. He rushed over to them and picked them out of the dirt. "They're dirty now. Anyway, It's time for bed now," Firestar said. "We're half an hour over our bed time."

"We don't have a bed time," Scourgeclaw pointed out.

"We do now and we have passed it," Firestar said. "**SO GET TO BED!**"

ThunderClan went to their nests. Firestar lay down in his donut nest. He closed his eyes and fell asleep. "**HAHAHA I AM ASLEEP!**" he randomly cried in his sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>Hawktalon,<strong>

**Please review and if you have any suggestions for stories please add them in the review or PM. I will try my best to include everyone's ideas.**


	13. Firestar VS Tigerstar

**Here you go, Skystar of SkyClan. Sorry it took so long**

**Hope you like**

* * *

><p>"Come on," Firestar called over his shoulder.<p>

"Where are we going anyway?" Sandstorm asked.

"To StarClan," Firestar replied. That morning Spottedleaf had summoned Firestar to StarClan. He didn't want to be lonely so he took his whole Clan.

So, Firestar lead his Clan through WindClan territory and to the random island in the middle of the lake. "StarClan, I have arrived," Firestar shouted to the sky.

Suddenly ThunderClan appeared in StarClan. "Why are we even here?" Scourgeclaw asked.

"Follow me," Spottedleaf said.

"Hey Spottedfang," Firestar said cheekily. "_Still_ like me?"

"Firestar shut up," Spottedleaf said. Spottedleaf lead ThunderClan to a big arena. "Where are you taking us?" Sandstorm asked.

"Firestar is going to battle Tigerstar," Spottedleaf replied.

"I am?" Firestar stammered.

"You are," Spottedleaf replied, sighing. "We told you this morning."

"No, you only sent a freaky picture of Tigerstar," Firestar shot back.

"So that's where you got it from," Sandstorm said to Spottedleaf. "He pinned it up on the wall in his den."

"It's Firestar!" Bluestar cried happily, bounding over.

"It's Bluestar!" Firestar replied.

"Anyway, it's time for your battle," Bluestar said. ThunderClan followed Spottedleaf to the seats. Firestar followed Bluestar through a corridor to the arena.

Firestar walked into the middle of the arena. On one side were all the Dark Forest cats. On the opposite side were ThunderClan and StarClan. Firestar walked to the middle and showed off his muscles.

Tigerstar walked out of another corridor. "Firestar," he said, narrowing his eyes.

"Tigerstar," Firestar replied, narrowing his eyes at Tigerstar.

"Now, for the staring contest," the commentator said.

"We are **NOT** having a staring contest," Tigerstar bellowed.

Firestar let out a yowl and leapt at Tigerstar. Tigerstar was too busy yelling at the commentator to notice. Firestar landed on Tigerstar's back and dug his claws in. "Hi Firestar," Tigerstar said.

"Hi Tigerstar," Firestar replied nicely, now kicking his back. "May I kill you?"

"Over my dead body," Tigerstar spat.

Tigerstar flung Firestar off his back. Firestar lay sprawled on the ground. Tigerstar put his massive foot on Firestar's chest. "I win," he proclaimed. Firestar kicked Tigerstar's belly with his hind legs and Tigerstar was sent flying to the other side of the arena. The Dark Forest cats booed.

Tigerstar and Firestar leapt for each other at the same time. They met in the middle and hit heads. Tigerstar sat down and cried. Firestar wobbled over to Tigerstar and bowled him over. "_I_ win," Firestar said.

"And the winner is Firestar," a cat called, running into the arena and holding Firestar's paw up. StarClan and ThunderClan cheered. "Now for round two," the cat continued, "The Lion."

"The lion?" Firestar and Tigerstar asked at the same time.

"Yes, the lion," commentator cat said, bolting out of the arena.

Suddenly another gate opened and a lion walked out. "What am I doing here?" the lion asked.

"This was called the lion challenge," Firestar said.

"I'm a lion," the lion pointed out.

"I'm a tiger," Tigerstar said.

"And I'm a chicken," Firestar added.

The entire arena burst out laughing. "Okay, the lion challenge is over," commentator cat said, running out into the arena again. "The winner is Firestar," the cat said holding Firestar's paw up again.

ThunderClan and StarClan cheered. StarClan booed again.

"Now, for Round Three," the cat said.

"Oh no," Tigerstar groaned.

"Round Three is a challenge where you have to ride the beaver for more than ten seconds," said commentator cat. He ran quickly out of the arena.

"This is getting stupid," Tigerstar commented.

Another corridor opened and a beaver came out. "I'll go first," Firestar offered. Firestar climbed on the beaver. The beaver started running around and trying to throw Firestar off.

"YAHOO," Firestar exclaimed, sitting calmly on the beaver, holding on with one hand and holding his cowboy hat in the other.

"8 . . . 9 . . . 10!" the commentator said. "Firestar has been on the beaver for ten seconds."

Firestar was suddenly thrown off the beaver. "Firestar was on the beaver for 12 seconds!" the commentator said.

Tigerstar walked over to the beaver. He climbed on. The beaver started jumping around. Tigerstar flew off and landed on Firestar. "Get off me," Firestar grunted.

"Tigerstar was on the beaver for 5 seconds," the commentator cat said, running back into the arena. "Firestar is the winner."

"Again?" Tigerstar asked.

"Yes, again," Firestar replied, happily.

"Firestar is the overall winner," the commentator cat said. "What do you have to say about that, Firestar?"

"**DONUTS**!" Firestar shouted into the microphone.

"**DONUTS**!" the crowd cheered.

"**SUNDI**!" Firestar shouted.

"Sundi?" the audience asked.

"**SUNDAE**!" Graystripe explained.

"To the eating area," commentator cat said.

ThunderClan, StarClan and the Dark Forest ran out the corridors and to the eating area. Once everyone was gathered, the commentator cat arrived. "Cheers to Firestar, for declaring this feast," he said, raising his cup.

"To Firestar," the rest of the cats shouted. Then they all drank from their cups. A table appeared, squashing Ashfur, filled with donuts and sundae.

"It refills!" Firestar squealed, grabbing all the donuts he could carry. As soon as he picked up a donut, another donut would appear in the place of the earlier donut.

The Dark Forest cats were all swimming in the sundae and ThunderClan had just discovered how yum donuts were (as Firestar kept them all to himself). StarClan was sitting watching the ThunderClan and Dark Forest cats making fools of themselves.

"Hey, it's time you should go," Spottedleaf said.

"I'm coming with you guys," the lion said to Firestar.

"Sure," Firestar said. "What is your name?"

"I haven't got a name," the lion replied.

"Bye," ThunderClan called to StarClan and the Dark Forest.

"Bye ThunderClan," Dark Forest and StarClan said.

ThunderClan appeared back in their camp. "All cats old enough, **GATHER UNDER HIGHLEDGE BECAUSE I FORGOT THE REST**!" Firestar called.

"Firestar, we are already here," Sandstorm pointed out.

"We have a new warrior," Firestar continued, ignoring Sandstorm's outburst. "Lion, step forward."

The lion stepped forward.

"Do you promise to – umm, join ThunderClan?" Firestar said.

"I do," the lion said.

"Then by the power of LMFAO, I name you Lionblaze," Firestar said. "Oh and I like donuts."

ThunderClan sighed. Firestar had been eating too many donuts.

"Anyway, it's movie night," Firestar continued. "We will watch Finding Nemo."

The cats gathered around a random flat side of the hollow. Scourgeclaw turned on his projector and plugged it into Graystripe's DVD player.

* * *

><p>After the movie;<p>

"It was beautiful how the wittle fishie found his daddy," Squirrelflight said, sobbing.

"Come for a walk with me in the forest," Scourgeclaw said.

Scourgeclaw and Squirrelflight walked into the forest. "Where are we going?" Squirrelflight asked.

"I made this nest for us," Scourgeclaw said, pointing with his tail.

"Oh Scourgeclaw," Squirrelflight said.

"Let's try it out," Scourgeclaw suggested.

Scourgeclaw and Squirrelflight lay down in the nest. "Good night Scourgeclaw."

"I love you Squirrelflight."

"Hey, are these Firestar's donuts?" Squirrelflight asked after a while.

"Yep," Scourgeclaw replied grinning.

"He's going to be so mad," Squirrelflight giggled.

* * *

><p><strong>Hawktalon,<strong>

**Did you like?**

**Please review!**


	14. Sandstorm's Birthday

**Here you go spicegirl324**

**ENJOY and please feel free to laugh your brains out at this story . . . my pet zombie, uh, I mean cat is hungry. Yeah**

* * *

><p>Ok so, ThunderClan . . .<p>

"**HAPPY BIRTHDAY**," Firestar screamed from the top of Highledge.

"What in StarClan are you doing?" Thornclaw asked yawning. "You do know it's midnight."

"Yes, it is midnight," Firestar giggled loudly.

"What is a birthday anyway?" Ashfur asked.

"A birthday is the day you were born," Firestar said, still yelling.

"Firestar do you want to wake up the entire forest?" Squirrelflight said.

"**YES**!" Firestar boomed. "Anyway . . . **HAPPY BIRTHDAY SANDSTORM**!"

Sandstorm looked up at her mate in horror. "You did not just do that," Sandstorm said.

"Did what?" Firestar yelled.

"**YOU WOKE UP THE ENTIRE FOREST, JUST BECAUSE IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY**!" Sandstorm shouted, louder than Firestar.

"Hey Firestar, I'm having Scourgeclaw's kits," Squirrelflight said.

"NO SQUIRRELFLIGHT, LEAFPOOL WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE KITS WITH THAT RETARD, CROWFEATHER, AND YOU WOULD CLAIM HER KITS AS YOUR OWN JUST TO SAVE LEAFPOOL'S JOB. THEN BRAMBLECLAW WOULD HATE YOU AND ASHFUR WOULD DIE BECAUSE OF IT. AND THAT IS SUPPOSED TO BE AFTER CINDERPELT DIES, MOUSE BRAIN!" Firestar bellowed, waking up everyone and everything in the lake territories, the Twolegplace, and the old forest.

"Since when do I die?" Cinderpelt asked.

"**THOSE STUPID BEAVERS ATTACK AND EAT YOUR BRAINS**!" Firestar yelled.

"Shut up Firestar," Scourgeclaw bellowed.

"**NO**," Firestar shot back.

Sandstorm, Scourgeclaw, Cinderpelt, Squirrelflight, Leafpool (she got her medicine cat name?), Thornclaw, Ashfur, Brambleclaw and anyone else Firestar insulted or woke up by that rage leapt on Firestar.

"**STACKS ON ME**!" Firestar yelled through the pile of cats, somehow not suffocating.

RiverClan, WindClan and ShadowClan jumped on Firestar since they heard his yell and were awake. The cats jumped on Firestar and filled up the entire hollow.

"**BACK TO YOUR CAMP**," Firestar said. The cats bolted home, scared of Firestar's rage. "**I HAVE TO GO PEE PEE**!" he told the entire forest.

"**HAPPY BIRTHDAY SANDSTORM**!" Firestar screamed.

"Shut **UP**!" Sandstorm bellowed.

Sandstorm shoved Firestar in the den and locked his gate. "Thank StarClan he installed that sound proof barrier on his gate," Sandstorm muttered.

"What sound proof barrier?" Firestar asked in a whisper because he had been yelling too loud.

"Hey the beavers are attacking!" Leafpool called.

All the cats ran to the main clearing. Ashfur walked through the barrier. Squirrelflight leapt at him. She landed on his back and pulled his ear off.

"I didn't think that would happen," Squirrelflight exclaimed.

"Okay, the beavers actually are attacking now," Leafpool called.

"So, Shrewpaw, Spiderpaw, and anyone else who was supposed to die during the Gate Journey, gather in the middle of the clearing. Everyone else, RUN," Firestar said.

Most cats bolted into the dens. The beavers stamped the thorn barrier flat. "**STAND BACK**," Firestar screamed, running out of his den with a bazooka.

"I want a bazooka too," Leafpool complained.

Firestar fired his bazooka at the advancing beavers. It hit the lead beaver in the head and exploded. A few other beavers blew up along with the first one.

"**MY KITS**," Sorreltail called.

Cinderpelt bolted for the nursery. "There is a girl. Another girl and a guy," Cinderpelt said all in the same second. Then she fell over dead. A little gray kit mewed and took its first breath.

"I will name you Cinderkit because Cinderpelt just died," Sorreltail said, looking a bit high. "I will name you Algaekit because you smell like algae. I will call you Potatokit because I like potatoes."

"So Sorreltail, what did you name them?" Ferncloud asked gently.

"I named this one Cinderkit," Sorreltail began, still high. "This one is Algaekit and this is Potatokit."

"Algaekit and Potatokit are awful names. Why did you name them that?" Ferncloud asked.

"Because I like algae and he smells like potatoes," Sorreltail snapped.

"But their warrior names will be stupid," Daisy said. "Algaebreath, Algaetongue, Algaeheart, Algae-"

"Fine I'll name him Bazookakit then," Sorreltail interrupted, "or Weirdokit, yeah Weirdokit."

"**NO** Algaekit is . . . umm . . . cool?" Ferncloud said.

"But there is also Potatokit," Daisy said. "Potatowing, Potatofrost, Potatoflower, Potatofall, Potato-"

"**SHUT UP**," Sorreltail bellowed, making her kits half deaf.

"Good night mama," one of Ferncloud's 954766th litter said.

"Good night Sorreltail," Ferncloud.

"Good night Daisy," Sorreltail said.

"Good night Ferncloud," Daisy said.

"Shut up," Potatokit shouted like a potato.

"So what did you name them?" Brackenfur asked coming into the nursery.

"I named this one Cinderkit," Sorreltail began. "This is Algaekit and Potatokit."

"**NO**, Sorreltail cried as Brackenfur fell over dead. "Is Cinderkit a weird name? Fine I _will_ name it Bazookakit."

"Am I the only normal one here?" Daisy sighed.

"Yes you are," Potatokit mewed.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile . . .<p>

"Hey, Firestar," Sandstorm said. "Where'd you get the bazooka from?"

"It was given to me by a friend," Firestar explained. "Darth Vader, I believe he's called. No wait; he gave me the Life Saver."

"Firestar, it is called a Lightsaber," Sandstorm pointed out.

"Oh, I'll just go watch the Star Wars movies then," Firestar challenged. "Then we'll see who's laughing."

Firestar plugged in Graystripe's DVD player. He put in the Star Wars movies. ThunderClan and a few beavers joined in to watch.

After the movie . . .

"**NOO**," Firestar cried. "They did say Lightsaber."

"**HAHAHA**," Sandstorm laughed. "Now who's laughing?"

"You are," Firestar walked to his den sadly.


	15. Moss

**Skystar of SkyClan: NOO DON'T DIE**

* * *

><p>Yeah, another day in ThunderClan, blah, blah, blah<p>

"Morning Scourgeclaw," Squirrelflight said. "I am going to move to the nursery today." Squirrelflight looked around. Scourgeclaw wasn't there. But Ashfur was.

"Hey Squirrely," Ashfur said.

"Ashfur, I do not like you," Squirrelflight sighed.

"Yes you do," Ashfur argued.

"No she does not," Scourgeclaw said. "If she did, she would be having _your_ kits."

"She is," Ashfur smiled creepily.

"I am not," Squirrelflight screamed.

"You are now," Ashfur said.

Scourgeclaw let out a yowl and leapt for Ashfur. Ashfur sidestepped and Scourgeclaw fell into a pool of peanut butter. "Where in StarClan did you get the peanut butter from?"

* * *

><p><em>Ashfur's flashback<em>

Ashfur was skipping around dreaming about Squirrelflight. BOOM! He was in StarClan. But he was thinking about Squirrelflight so much that he didn't notice.

Ashfur skipped around some more until he saw Bluestar. "Hey Bluestar," he said dismissively. "Wait BLUESTAR! You're dead, am I dead?"

"I don't care, I have peanut butter," Bluestar said, licking peanut butter off her paws.

"Can I have some peanut butter too?" Ashfur asked, way too cheerfully.

"Sure," Bluestar answered, grabbing a jar of peanut butter and pouring it on Ashfur.

"But now I'm sticky," Ashfur complained. Bluestar laughed and ran away. An idea began to form in Ashfur's small mouse brain. He ran back to the stone hollow (somehow) and (somehow) put the peanut butter in a hole.

_End of flashback_

* * *

><p>"Hehehe," Ashfur chuckled. "Good times."<p>

"Now I'm all sticky," Scourgeclaw complained.

Ashfur laughed like a maniac. He ran out of the warriors den and tripped over Honeykit, formerly known as Algaekit. Honeykit screamed. Ashfur screamed louder and bolted out of camp, Honeykit hot on his tail.

"Scourgeclaw I am moving to the nursery today," Squirrelflight said, sitting in the entrance to the warriors den.

"Really," Scourgeclaw complained. "Then who will I sleep with? Ashfur?" he shuddered.

"Come on let's hunt," Squirrelflight suggested.

"You must not hunt," Leafpool warned.

"Watch me," Squirrelflight said jumping on a random vole. She landed on the vole and gave it a swipe to the back of the head.

"Like a boss," Scourgeclaw commented.

Leafpool sighed. "Squirrelflight some cat already caught that vole. See how it is already dead and on that pile of fresh-kill."

"Yeah, I caught the vole," Squirrelflight argued, "and put it on that random pile of fresh-kill."

"Who said fresh-kill?" Firestar demanded from top of Highledge. He suddenly appeared beside the fresh-kill pile. "It's mine now," Firestar declared, grabbing the fresh-kill pile and running out of camp laughing like a potato.

Squirrelflight looked at Scourgeclaw. "Like a boss," Scourgeclaw said.

Squirrelflight was puzzled, as always, how a tom's mind actually worked. "Less chatting, more working," Brambleclaw called, who had somehow become a bossy freak overnight.

"Geez, who died and made you deputy," Scourgeclaw muttered.

Brambleclaw spun around like a ballerina and faced Scourgeclaw. "Well Graystripe was kidnapped by Twolegs before the Great Journey. He somehow arrived at the lake territory with a kittypet named Millie who I ate for breakfast today. Firestar had made me deputy in the time he was gone, so HA," Brambleclaw said without taking a breath.

"How did Graystripe get to the lake territory anyway?" Squirrelflight asked.

"I don't know, I haven't read the book yet," Graystripe answered.

Squirrelflight looked around really confused. "GREAT STARCLAN," she cried, dashing out of camp with Leafpool following.

"Squirrelflight you must not go into the forest," Leafpool called.

"Watch me," Squirrelflight said, running into the forest.

"Like a boss," Scourgeclaw commented.

Squirrelflight and Leafpool walked back into camp a second later. "Hey Leafpool, I'm going to go to the nursery and have kits. Bye."

Leafpool watched Squirrelflight walk into the nursery. "I'd better go check on her." Leafpool walked into the nursery. Honeykit, Poppykit and Cinderkit attacked Leafpool. "Off, get off me," Leafpool said gently.

"No never," the kits screamed as they started eating Leafpool. "Now kits get off Leafpool, Firestar won't be happy," Sorreltail said.

The kits jumped off Leafpool and she wobbled over to Squirrelflight. "Hey Leafpool, this is Hollykit, Jaykit, Lionkit and Skykit," Squirrelflight waved her tail at the four kits who had escaped from camp and were hunting foxes.

"Squirrelflight are you okay?" Leafpool asked. "Your kits are out hunting foxes. When were they born anyway?"

"Just then," Squirrelflight said. "Be thankful they're not hunting that beaver I saw yesterday."

"AHHH," a scream came from the main clearing.

"Shut up Ashfur," Squirrelflight called.

"Jaykit," Brambleclaw screamed like a little girl.

Leafpool rushed out of the nursery, half because she wanted to escape her weird sister and the cannibal kits and another half because she had to heal Jaykit. "Take him to my den," Leafpool instructed.

Brambleclaw dragged Jaykit to her den. He put him in a random nest. "Everybody out," Leafpool said.

Everyone moved out, scared of Leafpool for no exact reason. "Now Jaykit, what can you see?" Leafpool asked.

"I can't see anything you mouse brain, I'm blind," Jaykit squeaked.

"Good," Leafpool said happily.

"It is NOT good that I am blind," Jaykit retorted. "Now I can't be a warrior and I'll have to be your stupid apprentice."

"No, you don't have to be my apprentice," Leafpool said quickly, she didn't want the hot kit as her apprentice. "I'll just put these on you and bingo," Leafpool said giving Jaykit some awesome sunglasses to wear.

"Great StarClan I can see," Jaykit squeaked. "Did you know that the sky was blue?"

"Jaykit you can't see the sky from here," Leafpool said.

"These are special X-ray glasses," Jaykit said, turning his head to look at Leafpool. "MY EYES! Leafpool I'm blind again."

"Well that teaches you for looking at me," Leafpool said.

"Now I will have to be your apprentice," Jaykit pouted.

"No," Leafpool cried, but she was secretly pleased that the hot tom was her apprentice.

"Jaykit, are you alright?" Lionkit, Hollykit and Skykit asked, running into the medicine den and knocking over all the herbs.

"Yeah I'm fine," Jaykit said. "I can go now. Let's play moss ball."

Lionkit picked up the moss beside the pool and threw it at Jaykit. His aim suddenly failed and the moss struck Leafpool in the chest, completely coating her in moss.

"Hahaha," Lionkit laughed, "Mosspool! Mossleaf! Poolmoss! Mossflight! Mosswing! Mosstree! Branchmoss! Starmoss! Mossypants! Squirrelmoss! Bramblemoss! Ashmoss! Thornmoss! Spottedmoss! Firemoss! Sandmoss! Couldmoss! Brightmoss! Graymoss! Mousemoss! Longmoss! Cherrymoss! Foxmoss! Icemoss! Rosemoss! Toadmoss! Leopardmoss! Blackmoss! Onemoss! Leafmoss! Berrymoss! Poppymoss! Honeymoss! Molemoss! Shrewmoss! Fernmoss! Daisymoss! Sorrelmoss! Rainmoss! Sootmoss! Cindermoss! Yellowmoss! Bluemoss! Purdymoss! Ivymoss! Dovemoss! Blossommoss! Bumblemoss! Briarmoss! Hollymoss! Skymoss! Jaymoss! Lionmoss! MOSS!"

"Get out of here," Leafpool shouted at Lionkit.

"Geez, sorry Mosspool," Lionkit called over his shoulder, as he ran away dragging Leafpool's moss away. Skykit, Hollykit and Jaykit followed. Leafpool shook in anger. Her temperature rose until she exploded.

Elsewhere . . .

"Hey kits, so what did you do today?" Squirrelflight asked.

"We covered Leafpool in moss," Lionkit began.

"I fell off a cliff," Jaykit added.

"We hunted foxes," Skykit continued.

"I ate some weird peanut butter that I found in the warriors den," Hollykit admitted.

"Okay, that's enough, go to sleep now," Ferncloud interrupted, as it was midnight.

* * *

><p><strong>Hawktalon here,<strong>

**What was your favourite moss name? Review and tell me**


	16. Karaoke

**Hawktalon and Lunarwing don't own any of the songs used in this story. If they did they would be stupidly rich and still insane. So they would still have written the story you are about to read, so yeah, I just confused myself!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>"What shall we do today?" Felix sang in that voice you use when you're randomly singing a song that makes no sense.<p>

"I don't know, what shall we do today?" Graystripe replied in that same voice.

"How about karaoke," Brackenfur suggested.

"No, what about karaoke," Scourgeclaw said.

"Yeah karaoke," Lionkit squealed.

"What are you doing at the warriors meeting?" Brambleclaw demanded. All the warriors were seated around the long table that they built in their den.

"I like karaoke," Hollykit agreed.

"I like herbs," Jaykit grumbled.

"Okay karaoke it is then," Brambleclaw closed the meeting.

The warriors and the kits filed into the clearing. "Who's up first?" Brambleclaw asked.

"I am," Ashfur said, walking into the middle of the clearing. "Hmm, what to sing," he wondered, stroking his beard.

"I know," Lionkit said, running over to the random stereo. He put a CD in. The music started.

"Cause baby tonight, DJ got us falling in love again" Ashfur began at the chorus, staring at Squirrelflight.

"Stop," Squirrelflight called. The music stopped. "Ashfur for the last time, I do not like you."

"Yes you do," Ashfur cried.

"She does not," Scourgeclaw said. "Go cry to mummy."

"Hey, that's my line," Firestar called from his den. Ashfur ran away, crying to his mummy, even though he forgot who she was.

"Who's next?" Brambleclaw called.

"I'll go," Felix said after a while. He walked to where Ashfur was standing before. "My heart is sinking as I'm lifting up above the clouds away from you. And I can't believe I'm leaving, oh, I don't kno- kno- know what I'm gonna do. But someday I will find my way back to where your name is written in the sand."

"Felix that was beautiful," Ferncloud said. All of ThunderClan had gathered for the karaoke.

"But you said _I_ was beautiful," Dustpelt whined.

"You honestly believed that? I just wanted to have more kits," Ferncloud said, looking down at her kits.

Dustpelt ran out of camp and cried to his mummy with Ashfur. "Next," Brambleclaw called, sounding bored.

No one moved. "Oh fine, I'll go," Lionkit said. "Come on Jaykit, let's go sing!" Jaykit followed Lionkit into the clearing.

Lionkit began. "When I walk on by, girls be looking like damn he's fly. I pimp to the beat, walking on the street in my new lafreak, yeah. This is how I roll, animal print pants out control. It's Lion with the big afro. And like Scourgeclaw I got the glow, yo."

"Ah, girl look at that body. Ah, girl look at that body. Ah girl look at that body. I – I work out. When I walk in the spot, yeah, this is what I see, everybody stops and they're staring at me. I got passion in my fur and I ain't afraid to show it, show it, show it, I'm sexy and I know it," Jaykit sung, dancing around the clearing with Lionkit.

"Enough," Squirrelflight interrupted. "You two, get back to the nursery."

Lionkit and Jaykit slunk off to the nursery. "No wait," Firestar said, in his big deep voice. "I heard someone party rocking. No one gets in trouble for party rocking."

"Say sorry Firestar for waking him up," Squirrelflight said.

"Sorry for party rocking," Lionkit and Jaykit sung. Suddenly techno music started. "Turn that dung off," Lionkit shouted.

"How?" squeaked Skykit.

"Maybe, press the paws button," Hollykit said sarcastically.

"Nope, it's this one," Skykit said, pressing a button. The music turned up louder, Lionkit and Jaykit kept singing. Hollykit finally reached the stereo and pressed paws. She turned it down.

"Who's next?" Brambleclaw asked.

"I'll go with Thornclaw," Scourgeclaw said. Thornclaw nodded. They walked to the middle of the clearing.

"Oh, in your eyes I see everything in black and white and the pictures of our perfect life. Here by your side you make me feel so young again and I wanna live forever. You're all dressed up and you're ready to go for a ride. Turning heads in your brand new dress, with your name tattooed on the side of my neck I want everyone to know," Thornclaw began.

"You're my Squirrelflight, I'm your Scourgeclaw. Let's make love all night don't get up at the probation. The big depressions over let's have a drink to them. We'll stay young forever living in our Silver Screen Romance," Scourgeclaw finished.

"Who's next?" Brambleclaw asked, from his judging table.

"I'll go," Mousefur croaked. She walked to the middle of the clearing where everyone stood to perform. "So what we don't sleep. So what we go out. That's how it's supposed to be, living young and wild and free," Mousefur sung really badly.

"Cut," Brambleclaw called. "Mousefur you are like 354314897831 gazillion years old. Yes you may be living wild and free but you are NOT young. NEXT!"

"We'll go," Skykit squealed. "Come on Hollykit, let's go rock this building." Hollykit followed Skykit into the centre of the clearing.

"Here we go again, I kinda wanna be more than friends. So take it easy on me I'm afraid. You're never satisfied. Here we go again. We're sick like animals, we play pretend. You're just a cannibal and I'm afraid I won't get out alive, I won't sleep tonight," Skykit sung, her voice echoing through the camp and across the lake.

"What is that lovely sound?" a RiverClan warrior, by the name of Hawkfrost, asked.

"It is called singing sir," another RiverClan cat, by the name of Nuthead, replied.

"Get me more," Hawkfrost demanded, leaping on Nuthead and pinning him down.

"But sir, I cannot get it," Nuthead replied. "You must find it inside."

"I shall try to find this singing you speak of," Hawkfrost decided, walking down the river.

"Oh oh, I want some more. Oh oh, what are you waiting for? Take a bite of my heart tonight. Oh oh, I want some more. Oh oh, what are you waiting for? What are you waiting for? Say goodbye to my heart tonight," Hollykit finished.

"Okay that's everyone," Brambleclaw said, shuffling some paper. "I will add up the scores and see who the overall winner is. While I am doing that, everyone go and hunt."

"And us?" Lionkit piped up.

"If you go with Squirrelflight and stay close," Brambleclaw replied. He sat there and counted the scores. Soon he was done and cats started arriving back from the hunting patrol, wait it wasn't a patrol it was a party.

"Okay so I have counted up the scores and they were very close," Brambleclaw began. "In third place is Felix's performance. Second is Lionkit and Jaykit. And now, the moment you've all been waiting for, first place goes to . . . Skykit and Hollykit's singing!"

"Skykit, Hollykit," ThunderClan cheered.

* * *

><p><strong>Hawktalon,<strong>

**So these are the songs that the cats sang,**

**Ashfur: DJ got us falling in love again [Usher]**

**Felix: Summer Paradise [Simple Plan]**

**Lionkit and Jaykit: Sexy and I know it and Sorry for Party Rocking [LMFAO]**

**Scourgeclaw and Thornclaw: Silver Screen Romance [Good Charlotte]**

**Mousefur: Young, Wild and Free [Snoop Dogg]**

**Skykit and Hollykit: Animal [Neon Trees]**

**Hope you liked it. Please review and stay tuned for more episodes of . . . Clan Craziness!**


	17. Donut Slush

"Momma, what are donuts?" Lionkit asked at 2:00 in the morning.

Suddenly, Firestar appeared in the nursery boiling with rage Literally. "**WHAT ARE DONUTS, YOU SAY, WHAT ARE DONUTS**!" Firestar screamed. "**HAVEN'T YOU EDUCATED YOUR KITS PROPERLY IN THE WAY OF DONUTS, SQUIRRELFLIGHT?**"

"I-"

"**I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT**," Firestar said, now starting to cook the fresh kill pile with his rage. "You disgrace the name of Fire Rusty Thunder Unicorn Star."

"Unic-"

"**ZIP IT**," Firestar said, setting ShadowClan's camp on fire.

Lionkit looked up from his PSP, "Can you drink donuts?"

Firestar ran his paw down his face. "If you put them in the blender, mouse brain."

"So you _can_ drink donuts!" Lionkit said happily, finishing the level of Super Mario. "I'll go make a donut shake. Or should I call it donut slush, not slushie, slush."

Squirrelflight ran her paw down her face. "I'll help," Skykit offered.

"Anyone else want one?" Lionkit asked.

"Me," Tallstar said, raising his paw.

"What the Dark Forest are you doing here?" Skykit asked

"Well I couldn't sleep because Firestar set our camp on fire-"

"That was ShadowClan," Jaykit interrupted.

"So I skipped around the lake to get donut slush," Tallstar finished, ignoring Jaykit's interruption.

Firestar nodded slowly and

* * *

><p>"Yo Clan cats, the camp is on fire so I think we should, like, you know, get out of here," Blackstar said in his awesome gangsta voice.<p>

"You think," Tawnypelt replied sarcastically.

Cats started pouring out of the dens and into the forest. Blackstar followed his Clan into the forest. "Follow me." Blackstar led his Clan through those weird twisty trees, through the lake, through the mountains, through the old forest, through the Twolegplace, through the ocean and eventually to ThunderClan to get donut slush.

"We could have just walked across the border, you know," Rowanclaw suggested.

Blackstar spun around and faced a tree. "That would have been violating the warrior code and therefore we will be like Firestar, who, I think I finally realize why he is called Fire Rusty Thunder Unicorn Star."

"I'm over here," Rowanclaw said slowly.

"I knew that," Blackstar challenged, spinning around to face the sky.

* * *

><p>"Hey, why did you put the line thingy in the middle of my sentence and go to ShadowClan's POV?" Firestar complained to the roof of the nursery.<p>

Squirrelflight, Skykit, Lionkit, Jaykit, Hollykit, Daisy and Ashfur all looked at Firestar like he had just invented donut slush, which in fact, he hadn't, Lionkit did. Ferncloud just kept on eating the jellyfish she had been eating this whole chapter but the author forgot to add it in.

"Wait, why is Ashfur here?" Squirrelflight asked. "He makes me feel weird."

"It's called love, baby," Ashfur said in what he thought was a deep romantic voice but really was a high pitched, squeaky chipmunk voice.

Squirrelflight walked over to Ashfur and slapped him in the face. He ran away to ShadowClan, which was still on fire.

Lionkit and Skykit skipped out of the nursery, hand in hand, and headed towards the ThunderKitchen. Lionkit opened the cupboard and pulled out two donuts with pink icing. Skykit grabbed the blender and Lionkit put the donuts in.

Skykit plugged the blender in and Lionkit started it up. The donut slush went everywhere! It covered the cupboards, Skykit, Lionkit, the ThunderKitchen, the nursery, Firestar's den, the approaching ShadowClan, ShadowClan's camp (and putting out the fire), RiverClan, WindClan, the Moonpool and don't forget the Old Forest.

"Turn it off," Skykit shouted through all the donut goop.

Lionkit reached towards the blender, which kept vomiting out endless amounts of donut slush, and flipped the switch. It turned off and Lionkit looked around. "Skykit, where are you?"

"I'm here," said a pile of goop.

"Hahaha," Lionkit laughed. "Pinksky, Pinkcloud, Pinkheart, Pinkwing, Pinkwing, Pinkbreath, Pinkmoss, Pinkpink, Pinkpurdy, Pinkmouse, Pink-"

"How the StarClan are you still clean?" Skykit interrupted. Lionkit looked down, he didn't have a drop of donut slush on his awesomesauce golden fur. "I'm sure that coated the old forest, but not you."

"Hey, maybe there is a prophecy about me and I will get awesomehamburger powers, like flying and super strength, and I will single pawed, save each Clan endless times. Then I will settle down with Cinderpaw and have coffee, maybe cake and then buy a photocopying machine and copy my butt!"

"I can help you with the last one," Skykit smiled. Lionkit looked at her strangely. "Follow me."

Lionkit followed the little pile of pink goop into another den. There was a sign that said, ThunderStudy.

Lionkit's mouth dropped open. The room was full of photocopying machines. He jumped and

* * *

><p><strong>What will happen next? Will Lionkit eat me because I cut off the end of his sentence (probably)? What will Lionkit and Skykit do in the ThunderStudy? Why was Tallatar in the ThunderClan nursery, oh wait he answered that. <strong>

**Tune into the next episode of Clan Craziness **

**PS. Please review **

**It was kind of creepy the other day, my friend bought a donut and now we are obsessed with donuts -_- **


	18. ThunderStudy

**ScourgeXScarlet: Are you a mind reader? I started this chapter the other day, before I saw your review.**

**Thanks to all the other wonderful people who have reviewed this story. For reviewing you will receive some donut slush, YAY!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own warriors, the photocopying machines, the Xbox or Skykit.  
>But I do own: Donut slush, Felix (who isn't mentioned in this chapter), ThunderStudy, ThunderKitchen, and a whole heap of other random stuff I added in this story. Random, I know,<strong>

**Enough rambling . . . on with the epic chapter! Woo!**

* * *

><p>Lionkit bounded towards the photocopying machine, Skypaw at his side. "I bags this one," he yowled, planting his butt on a machine and turning it on.<p>

Skypaw giggled and raced over to another one. "This one is mine."

So, Skykit and Lionkit printed copies of their butts all morning. "Hey, what are you guys doing in here?" Hollykit mewed.

"Nothing," Lionkit said innocently, still making copies of his butt.

"Kits are forbidden in the ThunderStudy," Hollykit mewed.

"Where does it say that?" Lionkit inquired, still on the photocopying machine.

"On this sign I found on the door," Hollykit said. "Oh well, I can't read so . . ."

At that moment, one of the gazillion pictures of Lionkit's butt decided to fly over and whack Hollykit in the face. "What in the name of StarClan is this?"

"My butt," Lionkit grinned sheepishly.

"Can I make one too?" Jaykit asked.

"Sure you can bro," Skykit said.

Hollykit, Jaykit, Lionkit and Skykit all sat on the photocopying machines, copying their butts. "Where do the photos go?" Skykit suddenly asked.

"Just to the main clearing where all the Clan can see them," Jaykit said.

"**THE MAIN CLEARING**!" Lionkit screamed. "Cinderpaw will see them!"

"Get out of the ThunderStudy," Boss Brambleclaw boomed, running into the ThunderStudy.

The four kits squealed and bolted. Brambleclaw sighed and washed his paw. Once he was sure the kits were gone, he put his paw in his mouth and whistled. All of the warriors ran in and planted themselves on a photocopying machine.

* * *

><p>"Wow, what are these beautiful things?" Tallstar asked his deputy, Onewhisker, as pieces of paper flew through their camp.<p>

"Umm, that is a picture of Thornclaw's butt," Onewhisker replied awkwardly.

"It's beautiful," Tallstar repeated, skipping off to his den to pin it up.

* * *

><p>"I'm sexy and I know it," Hawkfrost sung, as he strolled down the river bank. He had finally found the music inside of him. "Oh, great StarClan," he exclaimed as he stepped on a piece of paper. He stabbed his claw through it and lifted it up.<p>

He suddenly sprang away from it. "Firestar's butt isn't _that_ big, is it? I'll go ask."

Hawkfrost swam through the lake to ThunderClan. "I whip my fur back and forth, I whip my hair back and forth," he sung as he whipped his fur back and forth.

He padded through the forest to the ThunderClan camp. He knocked on the big gate they had at the front of their camp. It was opened by four kits. "What do _you_ want?" they accused.

"I am here to see Firestar," Hawkfrost replied. "Can I come in?"

The golden kit looked at the ginger one and smiled. "Sure."

Hawkfrost entered the camp. The first thing he noticed was that the hollow was covered in pink donut icing.

"Hawkfrost, bro, what you doing here?" Brambleclaw asked.

"I need to speak with Firestar," Hawkfrost replied, "and why are kits answering the door? It's not safe you know."

"Oh I know," Squirrelflight answered. "When I was little-"

"I need to speak to Firestar, like now," Hawkfrost demanded.

"Yes sir," Brambleclaw replied, saluting and racing off. At that moment, Hawkfrost decided something, that he would become deputy when he got back to RiverClan. That is, if he ever got back.

"The almighty Firestar is now in your presence," Firestar announced, exiting the ThunderStudy. "Speak, peasant."

Hawkfrost grumbled. He did _not _like being called peasant. "Is your butt really that big?" Hawkfrost blurted, holding up the picture of Firestar's butt.

"Yes it is," Firestar replied with dignity. "Now leave my sight before I-"

"You kicked us out of the ThunderStudy so _you_ could photocopy _your_ butt," little Skypaw interrupted. "Admit it. It was a pretty good idea."

Firestar nodded reluctantly. "I'll admit, it was a good idea."

"Hi Hawkfrost," Skykit said, noticing the RiverClan warrior standing there awkwardly.

"How do you know my name?" Hawkfrost asked.

"I've seen you at gatherings," Skykit replied.

Hawkfrost looked curiously at the kit. "You haven't been to a gathering before."

"Well not really, it just sounded cool," Skykit replied happily. Hawkfrost looked very confused.

"Run, get out of here," the mighty Firestar shouted at Hawkfrost, waving his paws wildly.

Skykit shot Hawkfrost an apologetic glance as he was rushed out the door. Hawkfrost walked back to RiverClan, trying to figure out what just happened.

* * *

><p>"Well that was weird," Skykit mumbled to Lionkit.<p>

Lionkit nodded. "You know what it's time for?"

"Nappy changing?" Jaykit asked, brightening up. Jaykit wet his nappies only about 2 gazillion times a day now. He is very pleased with himself.

"Donut slush!" Lionkit yelled, dancing around the nursery.

"Let's go!" Skykit agreed.

"You kits aren't going anywhere," Squirrelflight said sternly. "You broke all the photocopying machines in the ThunderStudy."

"I'm sorry mama," Lionkit said with big eyes

"Go play your Xbox until Sandstorm switches off the power." One day ThunderClan had been playing multiplayer games for a whole week, but that's a story for another time.

"Mama, can we play Xbox with Lionkit, Jaykit, Skykit and Hollykit?" Foxkit asked Ferncloud.

"If that is alright with Squirrelflight," Ferncloud replied.

Foxkit and Icekit scrambled over to the Xbox, which Lionkit had fitted into one of the walls of the nursery. They plonked themselves down, grabbed a controller and began playing Halo.

Ferncloud was furious. Foxkit and Icekit hadn't asked Squirrelflight to play Xbox and if anyone doesn't listen to mama, it was spanking time!

Suddenly all the power turned off. "Aww," all the kits complained.

"Now Foxkit, Icekit, come over here now," Ferncloud instructed. Foxkit and Icekit raced and knocked Ferncloud over. "You didn't follow all of my rules, it is now spanking time."

Lionkit giggled. He was recording it on his new video camera that came with the Xbox. Afterwards, he would plug it into Jaykit's head so he could watch.

Ferncloud raised her paw, ready to bring it down on Foxkit. "Wait," Foxkit yowled. "You can't injure me. I am Foxstar leader of AwesomeKitClan. If I die who will be leader? Will we perish? Will we be cooked on pizza by ShadowClan? Who will remember me, the kit who died of spanking overload? What will my warrior name be? Foxcatcher? Foxflight? Foxcloud? Foxpelt? Foxheart? Foxleap?" he giggled at the sound of the last one.

Ferncloud sighed and instantly fell asleep. Foxkit high fived Icekit. Foxkit's rambling always puts Ferncloud to sleep.

"My warrior name is totally going to be Foxleap," Foxkit giggled. "Oh no, here comes Foxleap!"

Icekit sighed and fell asleep. Foxkit sighed and also fell asleep, as his rambling puts everyone related to Ferncloud (half the Clan), including himself to sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>So did you like this chapter? What was your favourite part?<strong>

**EVERYONE BEWARE! SCOURGEXSCARLET IS A MIND READER! I SWEAR BY THE NAME OF STARCLAN! Lol (no offence ScourgeXScarlet, anyway, I love your name!)**

**Please review! I'm trying to get up to 100 reviews, I know what you're thinking. Why eat the donut. Well because I like reviews! I don't know why! But I do! Too many exclamation marks!**

**Hawktalon: Please Review! Please Review! Please Review! *gets whacked out by Lionkit, with his frypan, for cutting off the end of his sentence in the last chapter***

**Lionkit: Stay tuned for more awesomehamburger chappies! BTW, I made up the word awesomehamburger, it's so awesomehamburger!**

**Skykit: You use that word _way_ too much**

**Lionkit *raises frypan***


	19. Deputy of ThunderClan

"I'm going to be deputy Mistyfoot," Hawkfrost declared randomly.

"Why Hawkfrost?" Mistyfoot asked curiously.

"Because I want to," Hawkfrost replied simply.

"Finally," Mistyfoot cried, shaking her paws at the sky. "Someone who actually wants to be deputy!"

"So I'm deputy!" Hawkfrost yowled with glee.

"No," Mistyfoot replied. "But also yes. When I become leader you shall be my deputy."

Hawkfrost groaned, and then began plotting. "I'll kill Leopardstar and Mistyfoot, nah, too much blood. Maybe, I'll-" Suddenly it hit him. "I will make a new Clan!"

"Bye Leopardstar, I'm leaving to start a new Clan," Hawkfrost called into Leopardstar's den.

"NOO," Leopardstar shouted, leaping out of her den and crashing into Hawkfrost.

"What?" Hawkfrost asked.

"I love you Hawky," Leopardstar admitted.

"Well, I umm," Hawkfrost stammered. He couldn't stand Leopardstar and now she loved him. He shuddered.

"Oh Hawky are you cold? I'll get you a blanket and a hot chocolate," Leopardstar said, padding off to the RiverKitchen.

Hawkfrost stared after Leopardstar, trying to figure out what just happened. Then he shook his head and ran to the top of the weird thing that Leopardstar held Clan meetings on.

"Yoo hoo, RiverClan, Clan meeting," Hawkfrost called.

RiverClan started appearing from everywhere, the warriors den, the apprentices den, the elders den, the reeds and the river.

"I am leaving to start a new Clan," Hawkfrost began.

"What will it be called?" Mistyfoot asked.

Hawkfrost swore under his breath. "I don't know, umm, HawkClan?"

"No, why would we leave RiverClan to join stupid HawkClan?" a cat called.

Hawkfrost randomly yowled and bolted out of the RiverClan camp. He ran into WindClan's camp.

"Hey WindClan," Hawkfrost puffed. "Any of your cats wanna join HawkClan?"

WindClan kicked Hawkfrost out. Literally. Hawkfrost had a cry and ran to ThunderClan. He ran straight into their camp.

"Yo ThunderClan," Hawkfrost called, as he was cut off by Firestar.

"Blackstar, get out of our camp!"

"It's Hawkfrost," Skykit sighed.

"Oh, yes Hawkfrost," Firestar said. "I'm beginning to think you like ThunderClan. Wanna join?"

"Do you want to join my Clan?" Hawkfrost answered with a question.

"Sure," Firestar said. "What is it called?"

"HawkClan," Hawkfrost replied.

"Nah, what about AwesomeClan," Firestar argued. "Or CrazyClan, FireClan, LeafClan, CinderClan, LionClan, SandClan, FlameClan, WaterClan, BreezeClan, DarknessClan, FoxClan, JayClan, TreeClan, LunarClan, RainClan, OneClan, Unic-"

"What about ThunderClan," Lionkit suggested.

Firestar leapt on Lionkit. "That is the best idea anyone has ever had, apart from that one genius who invented donuts."

"ThunderClan it is then," Hawkfrost concluded. "Who's leader?"

"Me," all the kits said at once.

"I am leader," Lionkit declared.

"No," Jaykit mumbled. "It's against the warrior code, which I can never learn because I am blind."

"Jaykit is leader," Hawkfrost decided.

"Stop this now," Sandstorm interrupted. "Firestar is leader of ThunderClan and Hawkfrost can be . . . umm . . . a warrior!"

"Woo, I'm a warrior," Hawkfrost cheered. "Oh wait, I already am a warrior."

Sandstorm rolled her eyes. "I'm leaving you two to work out the rest. Firestar is leader and you can't change that."

"Okay then," Hawkfrost said, looking at the ground.

"Can _I_ be deputy?" Brambleclaw pleaded.

"No, Skykit is deputy," Firestar decided.

"I am?" Skykit asked, bewildered.

"You are," Firestar said. "I will hold your ceremony now."

"ThunderClan, gather under HawkRock for a Clan meeting," Hawkfrost demanded.

"Hawkfrost it is Highledge, not HawkRock," Skykit pointed out.

"I knew that," he told the kit gently.

"Skykit, Lionkit, Hollykit, Jaykit, please step forward," Firestar yowled from the top of Highledge. "You have reached six days of age and I want to get you out of camp. Skykit, from this day on you will be called Skypaw and your mentor will be Cloudtail."

Cloudtail bounded forward and touched noses with Skypaw and bounded off to sit beside Brackenfur.

"Lionkit, come here," Firestar continued. "From this day, you will be known as Lionpaw. Ashfur will mentor you."

Ashfur touched noses with Lionpaw. Lionpaw bit his nose off. "Haha, got your nose!"

"Watch out he's got a nose!" Ashfur cried, bolting out of camp.

"Hollykit, step forward," Firestar continued to yowl, like nothing had ever happened. "You will be known as Hollypaw and your mentor will be Brackenfur!"

Brackenfur touched noses with Hollypaw.

"Jaykit, step forward. Since you are blind you must become a grumpy medicine cat," Firestar said, not realizing that he insulted Jaykit. "You will be called Jaypaw and-"

"I can see," he screamed. "Can I be a warrior now?"

"Okay, Brightheart will be your mentor."

"BRIGHTHEART!"

"Yes, Brightheart."

"I want a normal mentor like Lionpaw and Hollypaw."

"Well you're not getting one!"

"But-"

"Shut up," Brightheart screeched.

"Okay," the two toms mutter.

"Also," Firestar continued. "Skypaw is deputy. Thank you for your time. Good night ThunderClan."

"Firestar it is morning," Skypaw said. "And an apprentice can't be deputy."

"Lionpaw is deputy then," Firestar said.

Skypaw sighed. "What about Brambleclaw? He'd make a good deputy."

"But Brambleclaw looks just like Tigerstar, for all I know he could be Tigerstar," Firestar began.

"That is extremely rude," Brambleclaw exclaimed. "Tigerstar has that one pink paw, remember?"

"Tigerstar has pink paws?" Firestar asked, glancing down at Brambleclaw's paws.

"He does now," Brambleclaw said. "He fell into the cotton candy machine after Squirrelflight was flung out of it when she was a kit."

Squirrelflight chuckled. "Good times."

"Okay, Brambleclaw is deputy," Firestar yowled, do loud he could hear his voice echoing around the world.

"No need to tell the whole forest," Brambleclaw meowed, his paws over his ears.

"I didn't tell the whole forest." After a pause he said, "I told the whole world."

Brambleclaw screamed.

* * *

><p><strong>Yep, you guessed it, Hawktalon is here again!<strong>

**Please review! What do you think? Should I add in the other Clans more or make them sane? Should I make the Clans go somewhere else? Will I ever stop asking questions? ****If you are reading this PLEASE review! Just say awesome or what you like best. Come on guys! Eat that donut!**


	20. The Circus

**ScourgeXScarlet: I kind of changed Skypaw's favourite drink. Hope you don't mind. *Lionpaw raises frypan***

**Organizationsgirl: Wow**

**Alexis AKA Cloudstar: NOO NOT THE FLAMES *burns in invisible flames***

**Rottedheart of the River: It is a pretty good Clan name, eh**

**Skystar of SkyClan: Thanks!**

**Waterstar03: Nuts and funny is my middle name . . . not really.**

**I'M BORED! On with the story**

* * *

><p>"What should we do today?" Felix asked Scourge.<p>

"I don't know," Scourge replied. "Maybe hunt, fight, do warrior things."

"I know," Skypaw shouted at Felix and Scourge because she had been secretly listening to their conversation from the other side of the clearing. "We can go to the circus."

"That's actually a good idea," Felix nodded.

"Let's tell Firestar," Skypaw said, walking over so the whole Clan didn't have to listen to their entire conversation. She only wanted to go to try some Twoleg food. Lionpaw said it was really good.

"I'll tell him," Firestar said, skipping to his den.

Felix looked at Scourge and shook his head in frustration. Firestar could be so dumb sometimes.

He soon came back. "I said its okay!"

"TO THE CIRCUS!" Ashfur said, wearing his new clown outfit.

"We're already at the circus," Felix whispered to Scourge.

"Wild animals and everything," Scourge replied.

ThunderClan gathered at the gate. "Woo, let's go," Firestar cheered, running out of the camp with his paws in the air.

"Where is this circus?" Jaypaw mewed.

"Who cares?" Lionpaw cheered, running out of the camp like Firestar, with his paws in the air.

Hollypaw looked at Skypaw and shrugged. Skypaw nodded. She yowled and ran out of the camp with her paws in the air. The rest of ThunderClan followed, also with their paws in the air.

ThunderClan followed Firestar to the circus like crazy. Firestar bolted to the front row and planted himself in the best seat. Sandstorm and Graystripe sat beside him.

"No, no, no, NO," Squirrelflight screamed.

"What is it?" Lionpaw asked.

"It can't be!" Squirrelflight yelled. "It is! Honey!"

"Honay?" Lionpaw asked.

Squirrelflight shook her head. "MINE." She leapt into the honey store and began to drink the honey.

"Hey Lionpaw," Skypaw called. "Come here."

Lionpaw bounded over. "I'm here."

"Watch this," Skypaw grinned, grabbing a bottle of strange light brown liquid. She opened the lid and drank all of the strange stuff. Almost instantly, her eyes grew huge and energy radiated from her ginger fur.

"What is it?" Lionpaw asked.

"Just an iced coffee double espresso, try one," Skypaw said, throwing one to Lionpaw.

Lionpaw drank it. Nothing happened. He shrugged and walked off, leaving a high Skypaw swinging off the roof like a monkey.

"Ladies and Gentlemen," a deep voice boomed from the stage.

"Ooh, it's starting," Skypaw squealed, dropping into the seat beside Jaypaw.

"First up we have the almighty tiger," the voice said again.

A loud roaring drowned out all the cheering. A huge tiger leapt out of the curtains and leapt straight for the crowd. The cats screamed and jumped out of their seats, but the tiger smashed against an invisible barrier.

"Hey boy, come back," a soothing voice called the tiger. The tiger heard the voice and padded back through the curtain like nothing had ever happened.

"Sorry about that folks," the voice apologised. "The lion is out of control lately. Maybe someone stole his iced coffee, who knows."

Skypaw giggled loudly.

"Anyway, behold the actual tiger." A dark brown tabby tom stepped out of the curtains and meowed loudly. But to someone, that cat was familiar.

"GREAT STARCLAN," Firestar screamed. "TIGERSTAR HAS JOINED THE CIRCUS!"

The cat Firestar accused of being Tigerstar stepped forward. "Firestar, he has pink paws," Brambleclaw warned. "It is actually him."

"Damn it, I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling ThunderClan." Tigerstar complained.

"You whinge more than Mousefur," Skypaw commented, way too happily.

"Hey, I heard that," Mousefur rasped.

"I thought we left you behind," Skypaw said.

"You did."

Skypaw shook her head in confusion.

"Why are you here, Tigerstar?" Sandstorm asked.

"Oh you know, hunting elephants," Tigerstar grumbled.

"So _you_ killed Ashfur," Firestar said.

"I'm right here Firestar," Ashfur said.

"Oh."

"What are you actually doing here?" Sandstorm asked again.

"Those Dark Forest cats were getting on my nerves," he broke off and stared into the distance.

"_I know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves. I know a song that'll get on your nerves and it goes a bit like this," Mapleshade sang, skipping through the dark trees. "I know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves. I know a song that'll get on your nerves and it goes a bit like this."_

"_Where did you learn that?" Darkstripe asked._

"_That Lionpaw cat," Mapleshade spat, angry at being interrupted._

"_Okay," Darkstripe shrugged. _

"_I know a song . . ." the two cats eventually got the entire Dark Forest singing it. Tigerstar went mad after hearing two weeks, nonstop, of the same song._

"Tigerstar, hello, Tigerstar," Firestar said, waving his tail in Tigerstar's face.

"Huh?"

"Do something, we came here to see the circus," Firestar said.

"No," Tigerstar spat, and stalked back behind the curtain.

"Next performance, the random rope climbing Twoleg," the deep voice called Fred said. (Hehe, I named it Fred)

A female Twoleg, wearing next to nothing, walked out on the stage. Only Firestar was clapping. The Twoleg (called Fredilina) walked over to some ribbon which appeared from the ceiling. She began to climb up the ribbon.

Lionpaw yawned loudly.

The Twoleg had almost reached the top of the ribbon, when a loud yowl came from the roof. The Twoleg screamed and let go of the ribbon. She fell to the floor, where the fake ambulance guys came to pick her up.

Then in the distance, Jaypaw heard actual sirens. They were coming closer, alarmingly fast. "Guys, we need to get out of here. Like now."

Skypaw got down off the roof and ThunderClan left in a calm and orderly fashion. Wait, what was I thinking, its ThunderClan for StarClan's sake, they all ran out at the same time and got stuck in the door for five hours. They had to call a locksmith to make a key. When they finally got free, they did what they do best and bolted back to camp.

"Oooh oooh aaah," Skypaw screamed like a monkey, dancing around tickling herself.

Skypaw had been dancing around all day, since the circus only took up half of the morning. You should have seen her hunting . . . "GO TO BED SKYPAW!" Lionpaw roared.

Skypaw scuttled over to Lionpaw and licked his ear. "Yum." She proceeded into the den and lay down in Lionpaw's nest. She instantly fell asleep. Lionpaw spear tackled her, but she didn't even stir. He gave up and slept in her nest.

* * *

><p><strong>Sup,<strong>

**The first author's note is kind of embarrassing. But hey, what can I say, I get bored a lot.**

**I haven't updated in a while . . . lack of inspiration? Who knows? Oh wait, I was sailing. **

**I don't know what I should do in the next chapter, multiplayer computer games or a gathering. Or both. Or skydiving. Nah, either multiplayer computer games or a gathering. **

**Review! Please! Review!**

**IF I OFFENDED ANYONE OR ANYTHING BY ANYTHING IN THIS STORY, I AM SORRY! PLEASE KEEP THAT IN MIND!**


	21. Toilet Paper Gathering

**YES, finally I can update! I have been travelling around in my caravan lately. I haven't had access to internet . . . BUT I HAD ACCESS TO HOT SPRINGS! :D Review answers . . .**

**Nightstar of FrostClan: Good idea. I might do it I might not, depends what comes out of my hands when I type. Basically I just sit at the computer and write about whatever comes to mind, or something silly that I've done lately.**

**LexiLopezi: Thanks, I'll probably do the multiplayer game next chapter**

**I like pie: I know, I found that bit hilarious too**

**ScourgeXScarlet: I'll keep that in mind too**

**Mage of Hope: UPDATE! WOO**

**R4zorSt4r: ThunderClan will definitely be watching My Little Pony in the future of this story, I've had many requests for it :D Better do some research, or ask that creepy guy in my class**

**Jayvee1669: SO MANY IDEAS! I LOVE YOU!**

**Foxstar of DarkClan: I like your username . . . it has fox in it :D My favourite character is Foxleap, so pretty much anything with the word fox in it, I like**

**Alexis AKA Couldstar: I didn't burn _you _in invisible flames, I burnt _me_ in invisible flames. Sorry if I offended you, I should have read over it again**

**Fireflame: That's a good idea *nods head* **

**Snowstar of RiverClan: I think your request best suits this chapter**

On with the foolishness of ThunderClan :D

* * *

><p>"FIRESTAR," Lionpaw yowled loudly. "Get your lazy bum out here."<p>

Firestar padded onto Highledge to meet the yowling apprentice. "Good morning Lionpaw," he yawned. "What is it? Oh, that fox ate Ferncloud again . . . she was annoying anyway."

Lionpaw raced up to Firestar's side. "Fire-fir-fi-" he panted. "Firestar, can I change my na-"

"Spit it out boy," Firestar said, whacking Lionpaw with his tail.

"I AM AWESOMEHAMBURGERPAW," Lionpaw yowled at the top of his mini lungs.

"That's good, now go on patrol with Cinderpaw," Firestar said. "It's obvious that you like her."

"Shut up," Lionpaw said, whacking Firestar with his tail. Firestar lost his balance then stumbled to the edge of Highledge, where he balanced on his toes like a ballerina before diving gracefully into a pool of donuts.

"I'm going to do that too," Lionpaw said, stumbling to the edge of Highledge. He attempted to balance like Firestar had, but he failed and leapt off Highledge, eyes squeezed shut. "H-E-E-E-E-L-L-L-L-P-P-P-P ME," he screamed as he plummeted towards the sandy ground of the hollow.

"No Lionpaw," Cinderpaw shouted, running out of the apprentices den to try and catch the falling Lionpaw. She positioned herself underneath him, when . . . _woosh._

Lionpaw soared around the ThunderClan camp. "I believe I can fly," he sung because he was actually flying, thanks to his awesomehamburger powers.

"I'm coming," Cinderpaw yelled, transforming into a bird that no cat had ever seen before, a bird that is . . . a . . .

"PHOENIX," Ashfur squealed, from where he was sharing a mouse with Ferncloud. "I love you."

"Woah, Harry Potter fangirl on the loose," Jaypaw grumbled, as he walked by.

"It's not Harry Potter," Ashfur scoffed. "It's Twilight."

His sister Ferncloud snorted the rest of the mouse. "You idiot."

"What?" Ashfur asked.

"It _is _Harry Potter," Ferncloud purred.

"But Professor Dumbledore has a bird of fire," Ashfur replied smartly. "I think his name is, umm, what was it again . . . oh yeah . . .

"Fawkes," Brambleclaw suggested, as he walked by.

"No, who would name a phoenix Forkes," Ashfur retorted. "I remember now! His name was Fawkes."

Brambleclaw turned and shot an exasperated look at Ferncloud. She rolled her eyes. "Oh hey, Ferncloud I want you on the hunting patrol." Brambleclaw suddenly remembered that he was in a position of authority.

"Yep, I'll get going now," Ferncloud said, walking back to the nursery with Brambleclaw.

"Wow, that was close," he sighed as they arrived at the nursery. "Good thing Ashfur forgot that you were a queen. I'm off." He turned to walk away when he was attacked by a crazy phoenix.

Lionpaw sat perched on the edge of the stone hollow laughing at Brambleclaw. Cinderpaw let him go and flew back to Lionpaw, where she turned back into Cinderpaw.

"Good work," Lionpaw congratulated.

"EVERYBODY," Firestar screeched from Highledge, a little below the two giggling apprentices. All cats stopped and looked up at Firestar nervously. "WE ARE GOING TO A GATHERING TONIGHT!"

"No need to yell," Squirrelflight yelled. "We're all here."

"Oh," Firestar said, sort of shocked. "Well, I'll tell you who's going. EVERYBODY!"

"But Firestar . . ." Sandstorm argued.

"Do you dare defy the one and only, magnificent and grand, embarrassing and rainbow-unicorn loving, Firestar?" Firestar roared.

"No," Sandstorm replied, just as loud.

"Good," Firestar said, somewhat satisfied.

The clearing was silent for a moment. "TOILET PAPER FIGHT!" Ashfur screamed, pulling roll after roll out of the surrounding forest.

Each cat grabbed a roll and ran off into the forest to get the best hiding places. "Come on Cinderpaw," Lionpaw invited. Cinderpaw nodded and the two apprentices bounced down the wall. Vertically.

Lionpaw grabbed a roll with his tail and another in his mouth; Cinderpaw did the same. "Let's go," Lionpaw said, though it came out like usgflawriu.

Cinderpaw followed Lionpaw down to the lake where they put down their rolls of toilet paper. Lionpaw disappeared behind a bush and came back holding two toilet paper launchers. They worked like machine guns, firing one sheet at a time.

They loaded the toilet paper in.

They camouflaged themselves with mud and leaves.

They took off in search of cats. Lionpaw signalled with his tail for silence and crept into a bush. There was half a tail sticking out the other side.

"YEEOOWW," the cat screamed, as Lionpaw fired the toilet paper at him.

"Serves you right, Berrypaw," Lionpaw said. "Stealing all my she cats."

Cinderpaw jumped into a tree, frightening a scared Dustpelt out. "Have mercy," he begged.

Cinderpaw lowered her gun. "Okay."

"EVERYBODY!" Firestar's words echoed through the forest. "TO THE GATHERING!"

The scattered ThunderClan advanced towards the WindClan border, guns loaded and ready. Lionpaw and Cinderpaw leapt over the stream and into WindClan territory. The black figures of the ThunderClan comrades were sweeping across the landscape.

A rabbit popped its head out of its burrow, only to be shot by an advancing Lionpaw. It ducked down again, covered in toilet paper and frightened. It ran off to warn the rest of its kin.

Anyway, ThunderClan marched across the tree bridge, causing it to bounce and wobble. They stormed into the Gathering and seated themselves calmly. Firestar walked slowly and dramatically to the Great Oak, Star Wars theme song playing in the background.

"Well, in WindClan," Onestar began, as Firestar finally reached the tree. "The rabbits have been scared tonight and covered in what seems to be, toilet paper. Who is responsible for it?"

The ThunderClan cats all pointed towards ShadowClan. "Right then," Onestar said. "ShadowClan, you owe us something. I don't know what, but something."

"Prey," one cat said foolishly.

"I will accept your offer of prey." Onestar grinned cheekily at Blackstar's fuming face.

"In RiverClan lately," Leopardstar said. "Nothing much has happened, apart from the fact that I lost the river. I just couldn't find it. I mean, one morning I'm walking along the river bank and there was no river! Who took it?"

This time everyone pointed to ThunderClan.

"What do you have to say to that?" Leopardstar demanded.

"ATTACK," Firestar called. The ThunderClan cats pulled out their toilet paper guns and began firing wildly. Toilet paper was everywhere in a matter of seconds, in the trees, in the lake, in Ashfur's underpants.

Surprisingly ShadowClan retaliated by revealing a large catapult. Rowanclaw climbed in the bucket. "FIRE!" Blackstar commanded. Russetfur pushed the lever and Rowanclaw flew across the clearing. ShadowClan continued in this manner until . . .

"COME HERE BOY," Nightcloud's voice floated down on the wind. All the cats stopped fighting. It was someting new, Nightcloud was being nice. Something Nightcloud would be nice to would have to be very . . . very . . .

"Uh oh," Blackstar said, launching himself across the clearing.

"RAWR!" A huge monster crashed to the Gathering. It was huge with big black fangs, the size of Firestar's donut pool . . . which is pretty big. Its fur was gray and it had a huge nose.

"IT'S ASHFUR!" Firestar squealed in fright.

"It's an elephant, idiot," Ashfur sighed, just before he was trampled by the elephant.

The cats began running to escape the elephant's rage. The clearing was flooded with moonlight. Millions and millions of StarClan cats walked the sky.

"What in StarClan are you doing here?" Firestar squealed.

"We are catching the elephant Nightcloud stole from our circus," they replied together.

"I didn't steal it," Nightcloud called. "It ran to me . . . and ran me over."

All the cats fell over laughing, tears streaming down their faces and causing the lake to overflow. Even StarClan joined in.

And it was all because of Ashfur.

* * *

><p><strong>I haven't got much time, off to the hot spring again, so I'll make this quick<strong>

**Please review, even if you are reading this 100 years in the future, I will even appreciate them when I'm dead . . . I think**

**Got to skedaddle now :D**

**BYE BYE**

**~Hawktalon**


	22. The End of the Clans, Part 1

**You all should know what goes here!**

**LexiLopezi: The coffee sounds great!**

**Hawkeyes of Shadowclan: Yay for Ashfur!**

**pumpkin21: Thanks for the reviews. I was planning to do something Last Hope related**

**Jayvee1669: SO MANY MORE IDEAS! *bows* I shall use some of them**

**Percabeth2gether4ever: I like your new username. Creative**

**kayliegh: Thank you**

**Nimneniel: Here's an update for you and thanks**

**Irisflower: An update for you :)**

**iceflower of ThunderClan: Thank you so much! I know I said that before . . .**

**Nightbolt: Thank you**

**On with the story!**

* * *

><p><strong>The End of the Clans<strong>

Hollypaw stuck her head out of the apprentices den, scanning the clearing for the donut-crazed ThunderClan leader. Luckily, he wasn't in sight and Hollypaw snuck out of the den, emerging into the warming sun of the morning. She made her way over to the fresh kill pile and grabbed a small shrew in her jaws. She padded across the clearing and sat in her favourite spot to eat.

But what Hollypaw missed was, watching her from the shadows, sat a fiery orange tom. "Hollypaw," he mewed in a deep voice, scaring the apprentice out of her fur. She inhaled the shrew and turned to face the leader.

"I am very disappointed with you," Firestar scolded sternly. "Stealing my donut like that. What made you do it?"

Hollypaw stared past Firestar as memories of the previous day surfaced.

"_I swear, Firestar has a huge donut in his den," Lionpaw insisted._

"_Really?" Skypaw rolled her eyes._

"_Yes!" Lionpaw exclaimed._

"_Really?" Skypaw asked._

"_Yes!" Lionpaw said._

"_Really?" Skypaw asked again._

"_Yes!" Lionpaw repeated._

"_Real-"_

"_I'll go check," Hollypaw hissed, tired of her siblings bickering. "And if there is a huge donut, I'll bring it back for you to share."_

_Hollypaw turned around and stalked to Firestar's den, superspy style. She crept into the den and in the middle was the biggest donut she'd ever seen! She sunk her teeth into it and dragged it out into the clearing, super-donutspy style._

_She balanced the donut on the edge of Highledge and pushed with all her might, sending the donut flying down into the clearing._

"_It's a bird," Ashfur screamed._

"_No, it's a plane," Dustpelt argued._

"_No, it's my donut!" Firestar yelped._

_The donut crashed into the clearing, splattering everywhere, coating the entire camp in donut and cream. The donut turned out to be cream filled. _

_A cream covered Firestar screamed like a girl and ran in circles until Lionpaw knocked him out with the kit's cricket bat._

"My head still hurts," Firestar complained as Hollypaw's memory faded away. "Anyway, for that you must be punished."

"But sir," Hollypaw piped up. "There's nothing in the warrior code about stealing other cat's donuts."

"I will bring it up at the next Gathering," Firestar said. "And now for your punishment." The tom turned around, bounded up to Highledge and sat precariously on the edge. "Cats of ThunderClan, gather below to hear my words."

_He's actually serious when it comes to his donuts, _Hollypaw thought to herself as she seated herself with Lionpaw and Skypaw.

"Now, you all know of the crime three apprentices committed yesterday." Firestar gazed around the clearing. The walls were half covered with cream from where the cats couldn't reach to clean it off.

"I have decided to punish them," Firestar said loudly. "I have decided to change their names."

The three apprentices gasped. Surely the ThunderClan leader wasn't that cruel.

"Well come here," Firestar invited. The three apprentices made their way up to Highledge. "Skypaw, come here." Firestar's eyes gained a mad glint. "I name you Sky That Falls From Mountain."

Sky That Falls From Mountain's mouth opened in horror. "Bu-but, I'm not a Tribe cat!"

Firestar grinned madly. "This is your punishment. You broke my donut!" Thunder crashed overhead as Firestar said the sentence, though there was not a cloud in the sky.

She slithered away from the mad leader and huddled beside the shaking Hollypaw. "Lionpaw come here."

Lionpaw stepped forward, head raised bravely. "I can do this," he whispered to himself.

"Lionpaw, you committed a terrible crime against my donut yesterday," Firestar said. "I will rename you too! From now on you will be known as Lion That Eats Trees."

Lion That Eats Trees growled. "That makes no sense."

Firestar nodded. "I'll admit it sounded better in my head. Next."

Lion That Eats Trees walked away, lip quivering and Hollypaw took his place. "Firestar please, you've got to listen."

"No!" he roared. "You broke my donut!" Thunder crashed in the sky again.

Hollypaw shook beneath the rage of the ThunderClan leader. "I will now rename you too. From this moment on, thou shall be known as Holly Who Trips Over Prey."

Holly Who Trips Over Prey opened her mouth in a silent wail. "That was once I missed the mouse."

Firestar flicked his tail dismissively. "Next."

"But Firestar, there are no more cats to see you," the black furred apprentice mewed.

Firestar gazed at ThunderClan gathered below. "I see cats."

Holly Who Trips Over Prey ran a paw down her face and joined Lion That Eats Trees and Sky That Falls From Mountain at the bottom of Highledge. "Stupid Firestar."

"I agree," said Lion That Eats Trees.

"Me too," Sky That Falls From Mountain agreed.

"We need nicknames," said Holly Who Trips Over Prey. "The author is getting tired of writing long names."

_**Meanwhile in some random other place**_

"They're breaking the fourth wall!" Hawktalon shouted to Lunarwing.

"Make them stop!" Lunarwing shouted back.

"How?" Hawktalon asked.

"Do something!" Lunarwing ordered desperately. "You're the warrior here, not me. I'm only a medicine cat!"

"Okay, stop yelling!" Hawktalon yelled. "Me too!"

Lunarwing breathed loudly, then sneezed and started a tornado in Mexico.

_**Back with the naughty apprentices**_

"Yeah, we need nicknames," Lion That Eats Trees said again. "Let's keep talking to annoy the author!"

"Purple tap dancing giraffes," Sky That Falls From Mountain said.

"Flying squid in a banana boat," said Holly Who Trips Over Prey.

"Happy clappy dancing pirates," said Lion That Eats Trees.

Thunder crashed overhead and made the apprentices stop talking gibberish. "Call me Holly," said Holly Who Trips Over Prey quietly.

"Call me Sky," Sky That Falls From Mountain whispered.

"I'm Lion," Lion That Eats Trees said loudly. He looked around and the entire Clan had stopped talking and were staring at the apprentices.

"Sorry," said Lion.

"As I was saying," Firestar continued talking to Dustpelt and Ferncloud. "You have committed the crime of producing too many donut-eating kits and therefore must be punished. I will rename you too!"

_**Meanwhile in the other random place again**_

"Hawktalon, we must stop the madness!" Lunarwing shouted.

"Lunarwing, stop shouting," Hawktalon said.

"Okay." Lunarwing took a deep breath and another tornado stared in China.

"Would you cut that out?" Hawktalon asked. "I don't think the Chinese people like tornadoes crashing their houses."

Lunarwing took a deep breath, and then remembered what Hawktalon had just said. The medicine cat released it slowly, resulting in a storm of willy-willies starting in the Australian outback.

Hawktalon rolled her bright yellow eyes. "We need to do something about those ThunderClan cats."

"Why?" Lunarwing wondered.

"Because if we don't stop them the end of the Clans will be upon us," Hawktalon said grimly. "We'll have four Tribes instead, but no more Clans."

Lunarwing stared into space. "I wonder what they would call their Tribes. The Tribe of Crashing Thunder, The Tribe of Dark Shadows, The Tribe of Flowing River and The Tribe of Stupid WindClan cats."

"Lunarwing, concentrate," Hawktalon said, slapping Lunarwing with her tail. "We have to do something."

"Like what?" Lunarwing asked, suddenly paying attention.

"I have an idea." Hawktalon's eyes glinted with a wild look and her tail fur bristled.

Lunarwing asked her friend, "Does it involve fire, by any chance?"

To Be Continued . . .

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><p><strong>First: . . . I AM SO SORRY! I haven't updated in forever and I feel so bad. I've been so busy lately with my performing, homework and texting my friend. But I found time to update this well loved fanfic. I will try to update sooner, but may not find time until the weekend.<strong>

**Second: Everyone should thank Iceflower of ThunderClan for this chapter! I had major writer's block for ages. From the weird conversations Iceflower and I had, an idea began to form in my brain. It lead to this, but without this amazing author, this chapter wouldn't exist. A round of applause to Iceflower of ThunderClan!**

**Third: Please review and receive a free donut in the mail! May be squishy.**

**Fourth:**  
><strong>~Hawktalon ka-blam!<strong>


	23. The End of the Clans, Part 2

**. . . and the review answers once again!**

**Jayvee1669: Wow, you never cease to amaze me with your lists of ideas :)**

**Striker in the night: I changed Firestar's tribe name a little, but thanks for the idea**

**iceflower of ThunderClan: Thank _you_**

**LexiLopezi: The Twilight thing sounds good and I like the idea of Tigerstar in a tutu**

**Jimanji the Cynical: Ooooooohhh, I like that. Donuts Anonymous**

**Jaywing: Thank you :D**

**Foxstar-Leader of DemonFoxClan: I'll add Sandstorm's name in the next chapter :)**

**samredlamb7: Update! Hooray!**

**Maplepaw46: Thanks for the reviews and here's chapter 23 :D**

**Spottedpool: You may now find out what happens next XD**

**Mistflower and Willowleaf: I love the name Willowleaf :3**

**Zeus444: Thanks**

**Gnarly Charlie: Update!**

**Snowsong of SnowClan: Thank you for all the reviews :)**

**zestia240: Its okay, I love Skypaw :D**

**Meta-If: Sorry about the One Direction thing. I used to be into them, but now, eh.**

**Lionpaw: I'd hang out with any Warriors freak. We recently discovered that some of the year 10s at our school used to like warriors**

**Amazing-Thalia-Grace: Update!**

**Read on! All excuses (again) are at the bottom XD Wow, I'm using lots of smileys today**

* * *

><p>"Does it involve fire, by any chance?"<p>

Hawktalon seemed to calm down a bit. "No, but I do have an idea."

_**Back at ThunderClan!**_

Firestar looked down at Dustpelt and Ferncloud, whose kits had eaten so many donuts . . . For that reason Firestar had decided to rename them. "Dustpelt you will be called Dust That Flies Into Lake."

Dust That Flies Into Lake gasped and fainted. Ferncloud crouched beside him to see if he was okay.

"Ferncloud, you are now Fern That Pokes Eye Out," Firestar said happily.

Renaming cats was more fun than he thought. He looked around the half-cream-covered clearing at all the gloomy cats. They all needed some brightening up. Firestar decided then that everyone would be renamed so they didn't feel left out.

The mad ThunderClan leader bounded gleefully over to where Ashfur was eating. "Hello Firestar," said Ashfur.

"Well hello Ashfur," Firestar said mischievously. "Or should I say, Ash That Likes Badger Poop."

Ash That Likes Badger Poop glared at Firestar. "Stop renaming everyone! Go rename WindClan or the Dark Forest!" The gray cat turned and stalked off.

Firestar's eyes lit up. Ash That Likes Badger Poop had given him an idea. He would go and rename the Dark Forest! Firestar took a step forward and stopped.

_I need to be renamed too!_

Firestar ran up to Highledge and yowled to the sky, "I am now Fire That Annoys Cats Because Of Donuts, or Firestar, The Master Of All Donuts! You can call me Firestar or Donut Master for short." Then, jumping on his magical pink unicorn, Firestar flew to the Dark Forest.

Firestar jumped off the unicorn when it entered a forest covered in darkness. His paws sunk into the dark boggy ground and he shook it off quickly. The master of donuts couldn't have dirty paws!

"What are you doing here?" growled a dark voice from the dark bushes.

"Sinking," Firestar retorted.

"Follow me." The dark cat swished its dark tail for Firestar to follow.

"Okay!" Firestar bounded through the dark mud after the dark cat, not even thinking about the dark possibilities. The dark cat lead him to a dark clearing in the dark forest.

"What's your name?" Firestar asked suddenly.

The dark cat turned to face the ThunderClan leader. His dark mouth dropped open. "You're Firestar!"

"The one and only," Firestar confirmed. "And you are . . ."

"Oh, me! I'm Antpelt," replied the dark red tom. "I used to be of WindClan."

Firestar's eyes widened dramatically. "WindClan!" he gasped. "You must be renamed!"

Antpelt turned to face Firestar, a look of puzzlement on his dark face. "Why must I be renamed?"

"Because you're WindClan." Firestar thought for a moment before renaming the dark cat. "You are now called Ant That Runs Up Pants, or Ant for short."

Ant gasped. "Tigerstar will hear of this." Firestar watched the dark tom run away into the dark forest.

A second later an evil dark cat appeared in a puff of dark smoke. The dark tom strode forward, his huge dark paws – "Okay," he snapped to the dark sky. "I think they get that its dark."

"Hello," Firestar said happily, pausing dramatically. "Tigerstar."

Tigerstar growled darkly. "Why have you been renaming my minions?"

Firestar shrugged in the dark shadows. "It's fun!"

Tigerstar looked puzzled. "How can renaming your enemies be fun?"

"Well, it just is . . . Tiger That Spikes Enemies With Claws," Firestar teased.

Tigerstar looked at Firestar weirdly, and then ran into the forest crying like a girl. Firestar laughed, happy about upsetting his enemy and ran off into the forest, renaming every cat in sight.

Soon, Firestar arrived at the main clearing in the dark forest, where all the great and almighty leaders sat. He padded up to the tallest tree, when a thought stopped him in his tracks. "I will rename the Dark Forest!" he proclaimed to the dark sky.

**_Meanwhile, in that other place_**

"Lunarwing," snapped a light brown she cat.

The medicine cat looked up from her pool of water. "Yes Hawktalon? I'm currently watching Firestar rename the Dark Forest. It's quite amusing. I wonder what he'll call it."

For a moment, watching Firestar rename all of his enemies sounded like fun to Hawktalon. But she remembered that what the ThunderClan leader was doing is not acceptable.

"Lunarwing, we must put a stop to this!" Hawktalon persisted.

Lunarwing nodded. "Right after Firestar renames the Dark Forest."

Hawktalon sighed. "Fine."

**_Back to the Dark Forest_**

Firestar stood on a log in the middle of the dark clearing, dark light streaming onto his flame coloured fur. His emerald gaze swept across the cats. "You have gathered here today to witness the renaming of the Dark Forest."

"Wait," some cat called. "Why don't we whack this mouse brain over the head with a fish and we can all go battle training?"

A sharp yowl and a puff of smoke told Firestar that the cat had been taken away by security. Geez, those RiverClan cats could be annoying at times.

"As I was saying." Firestar paused to clear his throat. "I will now rename the Dark Forest."

A paw shot up and grabbed Firestar's attention. "No, Thistleclaw you cannot go and pee. This is important.

"But I real-"

"I now rename the Dark Forest: Place Where The Sun Don't Shine!" Firestar proclaimed.

Crickets chirped, a leaf fell from a tree and Thistleclaw peed.

Firestar looked around at the gathering of dark cats, smiled and instantly transported back to ThunderClan.

_Back to the other place again_

"Okay, Lunarwing." Hawktalon rose to her paws. "Get moving."

Lunarwing turned her head to Hawktalon. She opened her mouth to say something, and then suddenly fell on the ground in hysterical giggles.

"What's so funny?" Hawktalon inquired her best friend.

Lunarwing caught her breath for a moment and managed to say, "Place where the sun don't shine."

The light brown cat thought for a moment, and then the stupidity of it all hit her. She too fell over in hysterical laughter and began rolling on the grass with her friend.

Finally, Lunarwing sat up and breathed. "Come on Hawktalon, we need to do something."

Hawktalon struggled to her paws, sides hurting with all the laughing. "Yeah, we do."

The two she-cats sat there, thinking. Lunarwing stared at the green grass, while Hawktalon paced around the pool of water.

"Aha!" Hawktalon leapt into the air in realisation, and landed in the middle of the puddle. She turned to Lunarwing. "I know what we can do."

Lunarwing looked up from the grass, "What?"

"Well, I was thinking . . ."

**_Back with the four apprentices_**

Holly Who Trips Over Prey, or Holly for short, was washing the final crumbs of donut from her pelt when Firestar materialised in the clearing. She looked up from her cleaning to see the ThunderClan leader sitting peacefully in the middle of the camp, beside the fresh kill pile.

Holly began to get worried, Firestar had been crazy with renaming the Clan that morning and now his attitude had changed dramatically. Holly looked over at Lion That Eats Trees, or Lion for short and he got up and walked over.

"Have you noticed Firestar's mood swings?" Holly asked her brother.

Lion rolled his eyes. "Hollypaw, I think everyone in the forest has noticed."

"Firestar needs help," Holly said. "Lots of help."

Lion nodded. "And I know just where we can get that help."

"The moon?"

* * *

><p>Holly, Lion, Sky and Jaypaw walked through the forest, chattering like they were going for a normal walk - a normal walk through WindClan territory and to the Moonpool.<p>

"This was a great idea!" Sky exclaimed.

"I think mine was better," Lion said.

Sky rolled her sky blue eyes. "You think getting all the Clans together for a disco was a good idea? That's a good idea we can use for another time. Right now we need to get Firestar back to normal . . . ish. Holly's idea was much better."

Holly sniggered to herself. She had replied sarcastically to Lion's suggestion and he thought she meant the Moonpool.

"I can't wait to get my old name back," Lion said, changing the subject.

"Yeah, I don't like having a Tribe name," Holly agreed. "Clans are so much more creative."

"Hey, we're in WindClan territory," Sky said.

"Be quiet or someone will hear us!" Jaypaw whispered.

The four apprentices slinked through WindClan territory and up the hill to the Moonpool. They arrived at the top of a dip and looked down at a pretty waterfall, falling into a pool of water, sparkling in the final rays of the sun.

"This is it. Now, we wait," Jaypaw said, sitting down.

"We have time to waste," Lion pointed out. "Last one down there is crow food!"

Lion took off down the slope, feeling his paws slip into weird dips in the rock. They made him run clumsy and slow. _That's it!_ Lion ran back to the top, confusing Sky and Holly who had bothered to chase after him, found a huge piece of bark and sat on it. "Push me Jaypaw!"

Jaypaw grunted and shoved his brother, sending him sliding down the huge slope still sitting on the bark. "Weeeeeeeee!" he squealed happily. He stuck out his tongue as he passed Sky and Holly, then looked at where he was headed and screamed like a girl, tongue still hanging out of his mouth.

The bark hit a rock and sent Lion flying into the waterfall. He covered his head with his paws and squeezed his eyes shut, bracing himself for the impact of the rock. But it never came.

Lion felt the pressure of the falling water for a moment, and then landed heavily on a sandy floor, no breath in his body. Outside he could hear Holly and Sky.

"Lion, where are you?"

"Did you die?"

Lion coughed and struggled to his paws. He looked around to see that he was in a cave, with the waterfall blocking the entrance. The cave was big enough that probably Thornclaw, the biggest tom in the Clan could stand up without hitting his head.

"Lion?" Sky called.

He walked over to the falling water and yowled, "Sorry, I died."

Holly sighed. "Oh well, we still have Jaypaw."

Lion looked around and saw a small trail leading between the waterfall and the rock face. He checked quickly to see if there was any other way, then stepped onto the wet rock. But what Lion didn't remember was that wet rock is slippery.

His paws skidded and he fell into the water. The golden warrior struggled to paddle with his paws and flailed to the top. He flailed over to the edge of the Moonpool and flopped on the shore.

"Hey look, a drowned fish!" exclaimed Sky.

"Fish can drown?" Holly asked.

"Well, how else do we describe this?" Sky sat on Lion.

Jaypaw's mew sounded through the waterfall. "It is time. Now, we meet with StarClan and decide the fate of our beloved leader."

To Be Continued . . . once again . . .

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><p><strong>Okay, so I've decided to make 'The End of the Clans' into three parts. Let's just hope that I stick to that and not change it to four . . . I'll try my best :D<strong>

**Again, I'm sorry about the really long update. Writer's block. It all comes back to writer's block! It's evil! It's like a huge wall in your head that is stopping you reach your creativity and inspiration for any story! Why isn't it called writer's wall? Well, then the writer would write on the wall and that's not good for the community. Am I talking to myself? I know, I must be going crazy or something.**

**Anyways, its school holidays now so I may be updating some of my other stories soon as well. Yay for school holidays!**

**Please review!**

**~Hawktalon splat!**


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